Circles
by dirt whispered
Summary: Alex and Cadee are going in circles. These two have been best friends since they were kids, but what happens when one falls for the other? Can their friendship survive? *includes All Time Low, Alex Gaskarth, Jack, Zack, and Rian, plus original character!*
1. Childhood Memories

_A/N: This story starts in 2005. Cadee is 16, she is my own character. The guys are 17 and are based on the guys from All Time Low. (except for Cadee's brother, who is also 17.) All music referenced corresponds to All Time Low history, as best as I can.. (i.e. you will not find new songs, at least not right away. I plan for this story to expand over the years, so stay tuned for new music.)_

_Any questions: feel free to ask! ENJOY!_

Childhood Memories

Cadee:

It's the beginning of May and I'm sprawled out on my back with my head hanging off the end of Alex's bed. Evan is sitting against the headboard watching the TV on the opposite wall. Alex is on the floor with his head right next to mine.

Evan is my brother. He is a year older than me, and he's one of my best friends. At first glance you would not think we are related. He is tall, about six feet, with light brown shaggy hair that always looks like it needs to be cut.

I on the other hand am all of 5'2", with dark brown, practically black hair with streaks of deep red in it. We could not be any more different on the outside, but otherwise we were practically the same person.

Alex is my other best friend. Alex and Evan look more like brothers then Evan and I look like brother and sister. Alex is also tall, about six feet. Has the same light brown hair, just longer, and messier. He lives next door. Our parents have become close friends, and they've called us the three musketeers since we were little. We do everything together.

Sitting here in Alex's room after school reminds me of so many other days in our past. My mind starts to drift, I can remember the first day the boys let me hang around them.

_I was ten. Although Evan and I were pretty close, I wasn't allowed around when he had friends over. I was no longer his friend, just his annoying little sister. On this day I got home from school and followed the guys into Evan's room. I fully expected to be ushered out and for the door to be slammed in my face just like any other day, but I guess today wasn't just any other day. They didn't seem to even notice me, so I sat down quietly on Evan's bed and just enjoyed the moment of feeling included._

_The guys seemed excited about something, although I couldn't tell what. Alex grabbed the remote and switched on the TV that sat in the corner on top the dresser, while Evan was talking excitedly._

"_So, I think the new girl likes you!"_

"_What? No." Alex said with disbelief._

"_Come on, you didn't notice her staring at us?" replied Evan._

"_Maybe she was staring at you!" Alex yelled back._

"_Are you guys talking about Sarah? I think she's cool." I chimed in before I realized that probably wasn't such a great idea._

"_Cadee, what did I say about hanging around when I have friends over? Scram," Evan said instead of answering._

"_No man, its cool. If she wants to hang around that's fine."_

_I couldn't hide my smile. I was finally allowed to hang out with the guys. I think that's the day we became the three musketeers._

Now, the guys are talking about the new girl in their Spanish class. I guess things haven't changed that much; it's still girl talk. Only now they don't still think that girls have cooties. Apparently this new girl is extremely hot. Not that I would know, I've never seen her. I hate listening to the guys talk about girls. I've had to endure enough girl talk to last a lifetime, so I try to tune them out and pay attention to the music video playing on the TV.

I'm doing such a fine job of tuning them out that I don't realize Alex is asking me a question.

"Cadee?" Alex smacks a pillow over my head. "I asked if your coming to band practice with us?"

"Uh, yeah. I guess," I reply while I roll my eyes at Evan's goofy expression.

"Good. I just finished a new song and I wanted your opinion."

"Why, don't trust the guys to give you a serious answer?" I said with a grin.

"No, actually I don't. Jack would probably just crack a joke about the song being about Ms. Keith or something stupid." Everyone hates Ms. Keith. We all had her for freshman English, and she doesn't like anyone.

I guess I should tell you that Alex is in a band called All Time Low. They started playing together their freshman year. They are actually quite good, if I do say so myself. Although I may be partially biased based on my friendship with Alex, but hey, what can I say?

Alex:

I am so nervous about playing this song in front of Cadee. I've known her since my family moved in next door when I was like seven. She was the annoying little sister of a cool kid named Evan, who became my best friend. A lot has changed in the past ten years. She's not so annoying now; she's actually pretty cool. I guess you could say she's one of the guys. She is kind of a tomboy. Always wearing Evan's old T-shirts and band T's, with jeans or shorts (I think I've only seen her in a skirt or dress like two or three times, tops). She listens to most of the same music as us. You would probably call her the 'good girl,' she's always trying to stop us from doing something stupid, or get us out of trouble. Which happens a lot. She is an amazing listener, which is probably the biggest reason why I like her.

Yes, I like her. I've liked her for a while now. Not that I'd tell anyone that, I mean she's by best friend's little sister. Never going to happen!

I'm starting to rethink asking her to come to this particular band practice. I wrote this song about her, and now I don't want her or her brother to hear it. What if she realizes it's about her? What if Evan realizes it's about her? I don't know what Cadee would do. Evan on the other hand would most likely kick my ass.

We're in our drummer Rian's basement and about to start practice. I suggest we start with a cover song just to get into the grove of things so we start playing _Dammit_ by Blink 182. They are probably my favorite band. A lot of the covers we do are Blink songs.

"I'm going to get some drinks, anyone want anything?" Cadee asks over the music as she heads to the stairs. Everyone starts yelling out their requests. It's very rare that someone offers to get refreshments; I must admit we are a lazy bunch.

While she's gone I inform the guys that I have a new song I want to try out. I start playing, hesitantly at first, trying to remember the chords. Then I start to belt out the lyrics I wrote while I was up late last night.

_I'm sitting here wishing for something that's missing_

_I'm waiting for you to tell me_

_That time keeps on passing_

_I'm hoping, I'm asking_

_To stand by your side_

_At least for tonight..._

Cadee:

I stood at the top of the stairs with the door open, drinks and snacks in hand, listening to Alex sing. He had mentioned a new song that he wanted me to hear. I'm surprised he didn't wait for to come back to start playing it. I decide that I can't stand in the hall forever and make my way down the stairs slowly.

_...__Now lets take our chances_

_Please give me your answer_

_It's all up to you so please take me away_

_We've waited for so long_

_I can't say it feels wrong to close my eyes_

_When all I see is you-_

Alex abruptly stopped singing when his eyes met mine. I had just taken the final step into the basement. I feel awkward now that every one has followed the their eyes to the reason why Alex stopped singing. Me. Although I have no idea why.

"Uhmm. I was hungry and thought you would be too. Here." I laid everything out on the coffee table by the large couch closest the guys practice space.

Zack, the bassist, and Jack, the guitarist, were the first to dig in to the bowl of popcorn and sodas I laid out. While the boys dove for the snacks I peeked over at Alex through my bangs. I found Alex was staring at me but he quickly looked away when he noticed me watching.

I decided to break the tension and comment on his new song; after all he had said he wanted my opinion, right?

"Alex I like the new song. What I heard of it anyway."

"Uhh, thanks. I'm still working on it, and they guys haven't learned it yet." He was kind of rushing his words, he seems nervous. I think I caught him off guard. He probably isn't used to hearing compliments, especially around these guys.


	2. Changed Feelings

Changed Feelings

Cadee:

When I get home I go straight to my room and switch on the radio while I move towards my dresser to find something to sleep in. Just when I am about to change Evan clears his throat. I must not have closed the door all the way.

"Ev! I'm changing."

"Sorry. Can we talk?"

"I guess, what's up?" I ask as I move towards my daybed to settle in for what will probably be a long discussion. He follows and sits down facing me.

"Be honest." I nod, so he continues. "Is there something going on with you and Alex?"

"Why would you think that?"

"I saw you two looking at each other today."

"Umm. Okay. Nothing is going on. That I know of." I don't know what he's getting at.

"Look Cadee, I know you like him. You would tell me if something was going on, right? You used to tell me everything."

"I still do tell you everything. Alex and I are just friends. Besides he's Alex, the infamous ladies man, you really think something would ever happen between us?"

"I know. I know. But I've seen the way he looks at you. Don't deny it, I know you saw it tonight at Rian's." At the look on my face he got up, heading for the door. "Okay, fine. I'm done. I'll leave you alone. Night Cay."

"Night."

That conversation was just a tad weird. Why would he think there's something going on between Alex and me? I mean we've been best friends for years, and were extremely close, but Alex is like a brother to me.

I changed and lay on my bed facing my only window, which happens to face Alex's house, and his window. Alex and I have a ritual at night of sending signals when we want to talk. We have these old walkie-talkies that we use. There have been many nights when I can't sleep and we will just talk all night. He's a lot like Evan, I can tell him anything. He probably knows more about me than anybody.

After I'm changed I buzz Alex's walkie-talkie. He answers right away.

"What's up?"

"Getting ready for bed. I liked the song."

"I'm glad."

"I just had a weird conversation with Evan. He thinks something is going on between us. Weird right?"

"Yeah. Why would he think that?"

"No. He said he noticed us looking at each other during band practice."

"Oh." That was all he had to say?

"So, who's the lucky lady?

"What lucky lady?"

"The one you wrote the song about silly."

"Oh. Right. Nobody." What is with all the short answers tonight?

"Is something wrong?" I ask, wanting to get to the bottom of why he's been acting a little off.

"No. Hey I've got to go. Evan is calling. See you tomorrow?" He asks as he waves his phone around.

"Yeah. Night A." And then he closes his curtain.

Alex:

I had to stop talking to Cadee before I gave anything away. So what if I lied about Evan calling. I lay in bed just staring at the ceiling. Why can't I think about anything other than Cadee? She used to just be one of the guys. A friend. But then something changed.

_It was almost a year ago. I had just found out that my brother Daniel has committed suicide. I holed myself up in my room not wanting to talk to any of the relative that we calling like crazy. My dad barely said a word to me while my mom wouldn't even look at me. I was sitting on the floor with my head in between my knees just thinking how my brother couldn't really be gone. I have no idea what time it was when I heard Cadee's voice._

"_Hey, what's wrong?" She asked through the walkie-talkie._

_I looked up to see her peering at my through her window. I reached out and grabbed my walkie-talkie off my nightstand. "Nothing," I lied. Even I could hear the strain in my voice._

"_I'm coming over," she said and disappeared out of sight. _

_Not even a minute later I heard my door open and someone come sit beside me. I couldn't make myself look up. Cadee reached out and pulled me to her. We didn't talk, I just cried in her arms until we both fell asleep._

_The next day I finally told her that Dan had killed himself the day before and we didn't know why. I could tell she was trying not to break herself. I knew Dan was like a brother to her, so I don't know how she held it together. I'm grateful that she was there for me. _

_We both stayed home from school that day. We had been talking about things we remembered about Daniel when she fell asleep in my lap. I just watched her thinking about how beautiful she was when she slept._

Dammit. Why did I have to fall for my best friend's little sister? I couldn't let this happen. I had to distract myself.

The next day at school I got the perfect opportunity. This girl came up to me and asked if I was going to the concert in Baltimore tonight. I know the girl. Her name is Amy. She's cute. Average height. Nice body. Curly, dirty blonde hair. She could be just the distraction I needed.

"Yeah, did you want to meet up there?" I always knew what a girl wanted to hear.

She smiled widely. Perfect.

Cadee:

Evan, Alex and I always walk to lunch together. Usually I'm always sandwiched in between them, but today Alex chose to walk on the other side of Evan. He was still acting weird like the day before.

We arrive at the cafeteria where we find Jack saving our table. I go straight over to him while the guys get in the lunch line.

"Hey Jacky."

"Cay Cay!" He jumps up and gives me a huge hug. Here's the thing with Jack: he loves PDA, and I mean loves it. He can be slightly weird but you can't help but love him for it.

We sit down and I mooch off of his tray while he swats my hand. Evan and Alex make it over. Alex avoids the chair next to mine. I try to ignore this by looking over at Jack.

"So you're coming to the concert with us, right?"

"Wouldn't miss it."

We always go to concerts as a huge group. That's probably the only reason my parents let me go. Me usually being the only girl, my parents think it's safer if I have an army of guys around to "watch out for me." If only they knew the guys need more protecting than I do!

When we get home I run upstairs to change for tonight. We have to leave soon if we want to get there early enough. I choose to leave the jeans I'm wearing on. They are my favorite pair, even though my parents beg me to throw them out. They have holes on the knees because I've worn them so much, and I've scribbled all over them. I throw on a red v-neck with my gray hoodie and grab my 'concert chucks' from my closet. I call them my concert chucks because I wore them to my first concert, and every concert since. I grab my ticket and some money from my nightstand and run down to meet the guys at the car.

We end up taking Alex's parent's van to fit the seven of us. It's Evan, Alex, Jack, Zack, Rian, Kara (Rian's girlfriend,) and me. The ride is only about an hour but it goes by like five minutes. It is always a party when we are together, never a dull moment.

We arrive to see the line has already started forming. We park in the parking garage and make our way over to the theatre. Kara and I loop are arms with Jack's as we skip towards the line singing "doopidy doo da."

Everyone just laughs as we make it to the line. We are weird and we don't try to hide it. We still have an hour before we are allowed inside the theatre and everyone is talking about how awesome the show is going to be. It's a few local bands opening, followed by one of my favorite bands, Taking Back Sunday.

Just when the line starts to move a girl that I recognize from our school walks up to us.

"Hey Alex. It took me forever to find you." So she came to find Alex? He didn't tell me he was meeting anyone here.

"Glad you did." I hear Alex saying to the girl whose name I think is Jaime, or is it Amy?


	3. Complications

Complications

Alex:

I caught the look on Cadee's face just before she turned away. I can't be sure but it looked like her smile faded slightly when she noticed Amy approach. No, I cannot think about Cadee. Amy is supposed to be my distraction.

When we make it inside I notice Cadee and Jack running towards the stage, probably to get as close as possible. One of Cadee's favorite bands is playing tonight. And Jack always follows Cadee like a puppy.

I head over to a booth right by the railing. I don't feel like fighting the crowd tonight. Usually I'm right by Cadee, like her personal bodyguard. But tonight I need a little distance. Besides I can keep an eye on her from up here.

I was paying so much attention to Cadee that I didn't even notice Amy had slipped off to talk to some of her friends. Awe well. At least Evan stuck with me.

"She's really excited," Evan states.

I follow his gaze to Cadee, who is jumping up and down holding Jack's hands. Suddenly I feel jealous. I know its only Jack, that they're just friends, but I just notice how comfortable she is with him. I suddenly realize that Cadee and Jack have always been super friendly. Recently I've noticed Jack staring at her when she's not looking. I don't know how that makes me feel.

Just then Cadee turns and looks right at me. It's as if she knew I was watching. She gives me a tentative smile and then whispers something to Jack. Thee lights go out and the MC comes on stage.

Cadee:

I am so excited! But I can't help but realize what is different. Usually Alex is always by my side at concerts. It makes me slightly uneasy knowing he's not, so I search for him. I find him in a booth just off the floor. He's looking right at me so I give him a small smile and turn to Jack.

"What's up with Alex?" I ask over the commotion of people trying to get as close as possible to the stage.

"I don't know. Why?

"He's been acting weird lately. And he's usually always right up front with us at concerts."

Before he has a chance to answer me the lights go out and a small girl with green hair comes on stage to announce the first band.

The show was great. All of the bands were awesome. I make my way up to the merch table to get the required band T. Jack and I are laughing about something he just said when I run into someone.

"S-sorry. I wasn't paying attention."

The guy turns around and I have to catch my breath. I ran into Riley. My ex-boyfriend: the jerk.

"Cadee! Hey I didn't know you were coming." He smiles innocently. Even though I know there is nothing innocent about it. Riley had been a good boyfriend until I wouldn't sleep with him and he found someone else. I so wish Alex was with me right now. He's the only one who knows the true reason why Riley and I broke up.

As if on cue I feel a hand on my back. I turn to see Alex glaring at Riley.

"Riley. What are you doing here?" Alex asks a hint of something (irritation?) in his voice.

Riley backs away slightly mumbling something about leaving. I've never been able to figure it out, but Riley is scared shitless of Alex.

I turn my face up slightly and mouth a 'thank you' to Alex. He just nods and walks over to Evan by the door. I pick out a random shirt, ask for a small, pay the merch guy, and walk towards the exit. All while thinking, what is wrong with Alex?

Alex:

I can't believe that jerk has the nerve to talk to Cadee. I rush over and with one look I notice the panic in her eyes, so I put a reassuring hand on her back while I turn my attention to the jerk, correction; asshole. Riley.

"Riley. What are you doing here?' I ask coldly.

Just as I expected he immediately backed away mumbling as he retreated. I look down at Cadee to make sure she's all right and catch her wordless 'thank you.' Nodding I walk quickly towards the door where the guys and Kara are waiting.

"What was that?" Zack asks about the Riley encounter.

"Hmm." I mumble not wanting to explain. Cadee had asked me to keep the Riley situation a secret so I try to pass it off as nothing.

"Dude, that guy almost pissed his pants." Jack says as he comes up behind me clapping his hand on my shoulder.

"What did you say to him?" asks Rian.

"He just asked what the guy was doing here and he took off. I've never seen anyone scared of Gaskarth before."

I just look over at Cadee who is paying for a T-shirt and walk out to get some air. I had pushed Cadee out of my mind for the whole concert, paid attention to everything Amy said. She was actually pretty fun to hang out with. Then I saw Riley talking to Cadee and forgot all about Amy. I just flashed back to the day the asshole broke Cadee's heart.

"_Cadee? What's wrong?" I ask when I find her in the tree house crying._

"_Nothing," she says as she wipes away her tears and looks up. "What are you doing up here?"_

_She has a point; none of us come up here anymore. "I saw you come up here. You were kind of quiet on the way home, I wanted to see what was up."_

"_It's nothing."_

"_Bull. Come on Cadee, tell me." I always knew when she was lying, not to mention the fact that she never cries._

"_It's Riley." She said and looked away. We never talked about boys. We talked about anything and everything, except boys. I didn't know exactly what to do._

"_What did he do?" I ask suddenly worried. The thought of someone hurting Cadee made me want to punch something. She must have noticed the look on my face because she quickly stood up, dusting herself off._

"_Oh, nothing like that. I saw him kissing another girl outside of school this morning."_

_I still wanted to punch something, but I couldn't let Cadee see that. She needed a friend, and I was the only one around. I pulled her into a tight hug and let her cry. We eventually fell asleep in that old tree house. _

"Hey man. What's wrong?" Rian could always tell when I was upset. Even if I had a smile plastered on my face.

"It's nothing."

"Yeah right, like I'm going to believe that. You looked like you were going to knock that guy out. Who was he anyway?"

"Cadee's ex. Riley." I spat his name.

"Oh. So what, did he say something to Cadee?"

"I don't know. I walked over, asked what he was doing here, and he left. End of story."

"Okay, then why do you look like you want to rip someone's head off?"

Luckily everyone came out just then so instead of answering I turned and stared walking to the car.

"Hey, wait up."

I turned to see Cadee jogging to catch up with me. Instead of listening, I just kept walking. When she did catch up to me she put her hand on my arm to stop me.

"What is wrong with you? You've been ignoring me for the past two days. Then you show up out of now where to scare off Riley, and now you wont talk to me?"

The look in her eyes made want to pick her up and hold her forever. I hate knowing that I made her sad.

"Riley and I have an understanding, I just wanted to remind him of it." The day after I found Cadee in the tree house I had paid Riley a little visit the next day at school. Now we have a little understanding when it comes to Cadee. He is to stay away.

"Okaay. But that doesn't explain why you're avoiding me," she stated with a dozen questions in her eyes.

"I haven't been avoiding you Cadee." I lied.

"Yes you have. You can't lie to me Alex. I know Evan didn't call you last night while we were talking. You won't walk or sit next to me anymore. And you've been avoiding eye contact. Like right now."

I looked down into her beautiful gray eyes and felt like hitting myself. I couldn't lie to myself, and apparently I couldn't lie to Cadee. I was avoiding her, it's the only way I could think of not to let something slip like telling her I like her.

"Fine. I get it. I'll leave you alone." She said with a frown and walked ahead of me. Without thinking I grabbed her hand and started walking with her. I just couldn't let her go completely.

Cadee:

I just don't get it. I was done trying to read Alex, so I decided to call him on it.

"What is wrong with you? You've been ignoring me for the past two days. Then you show up out of now where to scare off Riley, and now you wont talk to me?"

He glanced over then replied simply, "Riley and I have an understanding, I just wanted to remind him of it."

"Okaay. But that doesn't explain why you're avoiding me," I said. I was getting even more confused. Now I knew that Alex had said something to Riley after we broke up.

"I haven't been avoiding you Cadee."

"Yes you have. You can't lie to me Alex. I know Evan didn't call you last night while we were talking. You won't walk or sit next to me anymore. And you've been avoiding eye contact. Like right now."

He finally looked down at me. He just stared at me for a second and glanced away.

"Fine. I get it. I'll leave you alone." I started walking away. If he didn't want to tell me he didn't have to, but I wasn't going to stand around in awkward silence.

I had only taken a few steps when I felt his hand slip into mine while he fell into step beside me. First I looked at our hands, and then I looked up to see that he was looking straight ahead. I knew he wasn't going to answer any of my questions, but it felt nice knowing that he was pulling away from me completely.

In the car I scooted in next to Jack and to my surprise Alex took my other side and grabbed my hand again, this time hiding our clasped hands under his hoodie. I just smiled to myself and fell asleep on his shoulder.


	4. Failed Expectations

Failed Explanations

Alex:

I still can't explain why I grabbed her hand the second time. I let Evan drive and sat next to Cadee to prove that I wasn't avoiding her and for some reason I grabbed her hand. I was mindful of everyone watching us and stuck our hands under my hoodie. They had seen me grab Cadee's hand on the way to the car and Evan had sent me questioning glances ever since. I would probably get the questions later. At least I had an hour ride to figure out what my answers to those questions would be.

Cadee fell asleep on my shoulder. I couldn't help but glance down and watch her. If I didn't know any better then I would think I was falling in love with her. But I did know better. I knew as well as anyone that you couldn't love someone else when you didn't love yourself. For some reason I started to think back to when we were kids.

_It was soon after I had moved in. It was snowing and Evan and I were horsing around in his back yard when Cadee came outside wearing her snow boots and a sweater, with her Grover doll in her arms. In the six months or so that I had lived next door I had noticed that she never seemed to put it down._

"_EVAN! Mom said it's time to come in."_

_Evan threw a snowball that hit his sister in the shoulder, causing her to drop the doll._

"_Hey!" Instead of picking the doll back up she made a snowball to throw back at Evan. She hit him in the back of the head causing a full on snowball fight. In an effort to help Evan I grabbed the doll and threw it to him. Cadee was not impressed. She eventually tackled me to get the doll back. Just then their mom came out asking them to come inside._

"_Alex honey, your welcome to stay for dinner"_

"_No thanks Mrs. Jordan, were going to my grandparents for dinner. I should probably get going." I turned and waved to Evan as I started for the fence that separated our yards. "I'll see you at school. Bye Grover." I said as I passed Cadee. I've been calling her that ever since._

We had to drop everyone else off first when we got back into town, and to my dismay Evan decided now was as good a time as any to ask his questions.

"So." Evan tried to start.

"Look I know you want to know what happened earlier like everyone else, but I don't know what to say." I might as well get this over with.

"Well yeah I do." He paused and glanced in the rearview at Cadee, who was still asleep on my shoulder. "You love her."

I was expecting something, anything, but not that. "Were friends, of course I love her. We grew up together." I say as a cover. I didn't know what to say. How could he know that? He was usually the oblivious one. Then again Cadee had said he was asking questions.

"Come on. Stop lying to me. I'd expect that from her, but not from you. I've seen the way you look at her. I know you love her as a friend. I used to think that was it. That you were so protective of her because she was like your sister, and think that used to be true. But now I can see it's different. You act differently around her, like you don't want to let onto the fact that you like her as more than friends. Today it became obvious, not only to me but to everyone else. Don't get me wrong, we've all seen you guys hold hands before. But tonight, tonight was different. What you did back in the theatre for her was scary. I thank you for it because I could tell she was uncomfortable around that guy. But your reaction scared me. It looked like you would have seriously hurt him if he hadn't of left."

"Yeah" I mumbled.

Evan nodded and continued, "She loves you too, you know."

At my dumbfounded expression he smiled. How would he know if she loves me? Cadee doesn't talk to Evan about boys. She barely ever talks to me about them.

"She didn't have to tell me for me to know." He stated, reading my mind. "She's always had a crush on you. Why do you think I never wanted her to hang out with us?" He laughed to himself.

"What's so funny?" I asked, obviously missing the joke.

"You want to know how I found out that she liked you?" I just stared at him waiting for him to continue. He nodded, "we were horsing around one day after you went home. She was teasing me about that girl that we both liked in like 7th grade, so I started tickling her. She begged me to stop; I said I would if she admitted that she liked you. At first she refused, so I tickled her harder. Finally she gave in and admitted it. I made her say 'I love Alexander William Gaskarth.' When I let her go she tried to take it back, but I knew it was true." He relayed the story with a grin.

"So, she was what, twelve?" I said, trying to prove that it wasn't true.

"Yeah. That doesn't mean its not still true. Last night when I asked her if something was going on between you two you know what she said in response? She said, and I quote, 'but he's Alex, the infamous ladies man, you really think something would ever happen between us?'"

I couldn't believe he just told me that. I couldn't believe Cadee had told Evan that. I couldn't believe.

"Look. I guess I'm just trying to say I get it. I know you guys have feelings for each other. I can't say I like that fact, but I get it. Let's just get one thing straight."

We were pulling onto our street, so I guess he want to get the threats out before Cadee woke up.

He glanced first at Cadee, and then at me through the rearview. "I know your not expecting what I'm going to say next, but please listen. I'm thankful she already knows who you are, probably better than I do," he said with a knowing expression, "So I know she knows what to expect from you. Please don't prove her right."

"What is that supposed to mean?" He was really confusing me tonight.

"It means, although the I will kick your ass if you hurt her, I know that I wont have to. I know you would never hurt her. I can see what you are trying to do. Your pulling away before you can get close enough, but that only proves her right. And that will only hurt her. She doesn't expect you to love her, but she expects you to be there for her."

"What are you saying?" I was completely dumbfounded. I have no idea what he's getting at.

He winced, "I'm just saying, don't pull away from her, be there for her."

We had already pulled into my driveway. I opened the door, picked Cadee up, and carried her up to her room. When I went to set her down on the bed her eyelids fluttered open. She grinned at me and let her eyelids fall back into place. I kissed her on the forehead, covered her with a blanket and started for the door.

"Alex?" she asked sleepily.

I turned in the doorway with a finger to my lips, willing her to go back to sleep.

She wouldn't give in. "Stay with me. Please?"

How could I say no? I climbed onto her bed, spreading out the blanket. She immediately turned so her head was on my chest as she held on to my shoulder. This felt so right. I grab her hand and hold it while I gently stroke her back, hoping she'll fall back asleep. I was used to sleeping with Cadee. If one of us was at the opposite's house and it got late we would just crash together.


	5. Dressed To Kill

Dressed To Kill

Cadee:

The next morning I was wide-awake at 7:00. I jumped out of bed, glancing out my window to Alex's, where I could see him sprawled out with one arm and leg hanging off the right side of the bed. I hopped in the shower, and got ready for the day. I don't know why I was so happy this morning. I mean it was Saturday. I should be sleeping in. I got dressed and called Kara. We had started to get really close. She was the closest thing I had to a girlfriend, and I wanted someone to talk to since I couldn't talk to Evan and I apparently I couldn't talk to Alex.

Kara and I decided to meet up at Jack's house to hang out with his sister, May. I got there at 10:00 and we talked for hours, mostly about boys. Kara begged for information about last night. Not that I had any to give. I had never gotten any real answers from Alex.

There was a party that night at this lake house and Kara and May got this brilliant idea to give me a make over for the party. I agreed, just because I thought it would be funny.

It took probably a good hour for Kara to do my hair, and another half hour for May to do my makeup. Kara curled my hair so that it fell just above my shoulders, when normally it hit about mid-back. She pinned my bangs back out of my face, I must admit I really liked this do.

May is amazing with makeup. Usually I don't wear very much, if any. See used a pretty red eye shadow that matched the streaks in my hair, black eye liner, and mascara. I have never been so done-up before, but I was having fun.

Kara took one look at my clothes and laughed. "Now your clothes."

"What's wrong with my clothes?" I asked. I liked how I dress.

"Well, they don't match your new hair and makeup. Please at least try some stuff on." She begged.

"Okay, I'm game. This is actually pretty cool. Thank you guys."

"Of course!" they said in unison. Kara added, "I can't wait to see the look on the guys' faces!"

They picked out tons of clothes, and I tried on most of them. Kara decided on a red tank top with a gold shimmery sweater, while May picked out a simple black skirt. I thought it was too short, but they said I looked great. They both tried to put me in heals, and when I protested they tried flats, but I insisted on wearing the red chucks I came in. I wanted to at least feel a little normal.

"Well at least they match her tank and makeup." Kara said, giving in.

I told Evan that morning that I would be at Jack's all day, so he said he'd pick us up on his way to the party. Around 7:00 there was a knock on the door. Kara opened it a crack to see it was Jack telling us that Evan and Alex were downstairs.

I immediately got butterflies. "I can't let them see me like this. What was I thinking?" I said nervously touching my skirt. The guys would probably just laugh. I wasn't the girly girl. I was the tomboy, just one of the guys.

"Yes, you can. You need to. We are going to knock they're socks off. Now come on." The girls each grabbed one of my hands and pulled me towards the stairs. Kara squeezed me hand and whispered that she'd call up and tell us when to come down. I gripped May's hand tighter.

After only about 30 seconds Kara called up.

May pushed me towards the stairs, urging me to go by myself. I slowly started walking down. When I could see the bottom step I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. With resolve I looked straight ahead and took the last step watching the guys come into view in the living room.

It was just like Kara had said. She was standing closest to me with a wide grin, her eyes saying 'I told you so.' To her right was Jack who was possibly drooling. Next to him was Evan who looked from me to Kara, to Alex and back to me. Finally was Alex. He was standing next Evan with wide eyes and a blank face. I couldn't tell what he was thinking. Everyone was silent, and it was killing me.

"W-well? What do you g-guys think?" I stammered out.

"I told you they'd be speechless!" May squealed from behind me.

Jack was the first to speak. "You look HOT!"

"Shut up!" I said. I could feel my cheeks turn red. Evan smacked Jack over the head.

"Owe!"

"No, he's right Cadee, you are hot." Kara stated. I sent her a 'thank you' smile.

Alex cleared his throat and I immediately looked over, waiting for what he had to say. Was it just me, or did his cheeks turn pink? Then he spoke, "Um, I think we should get going."

I could tell that my face fell, and I didn't try to hide it. Kara immediately grabbed my hand and lead everyone out to the van.

Alex:

The moment she came down those stares I had to blink. I couldn't believe it was Cadee. She looked amazing.

"W-well? What do you g-guys think?" She asked breathlessly.

"I told you they'd be speechless!" May squealed as she came in behind Cadee.

"You look HOT!" Of course Jack would be the one to point that out. But damn, she did look hot.

"Shut up!" Cadee said as red started to stain her cheeks.

"Owe!" Evan had hit Jack upside the head. I would have laughed if I could have moved.

"No, he's right Cadee. You are hot." That was Kara, obviously loving our reactions.

I cleared my throat to say something, anything. Cadee immediately turned to face me. Her eyes were hopeful, and I could feel my cheeks getting hot. Instead of telling her that she looked beautiful, or amazing, or even just plain good, I said, "um, I think we should get going." How lame.

I instantly regretted it. Cadee's smile faded and her eyes dimmed, and she didn't try to hide it. I'm such an ass! Why couldn't I just tell her how good she looked?

We all made it out to the van and I jumped in the driver's seat so I wouldn't have to look at Cadee, who sat in back. Even though Evan had all but thrown my ass at Cadee last night, I still couldn't bring myself to do anything. Instead I spent the car ride staring straight ahead, and willing myself not to glance in the rearview.

I knew we were close to the party because cars lined the street and kids were walking in groups. We found a space to park that was only about a block from where the party was. As everyone filled out of the car I stayed behind. I needed to distance myself, both physically and mentally.

I used to like Cadee for who she was, not what she looked like. Which happens to be a rare occurrence for me, and by rare I mean never, ever, before Cadee. With me it's always a physical attraction. My band-mates, and probably even Evan, would tell you I'm a man-whore. I'd have to agree. I tend to think with my dick rather than my head. What can I say? I am a guy. But Cadee was always different. Don't get me wrong; it's not that she wasn't attractive. I always knew she was hiding something under those band T's. But I liked Cadee for Cadee. She was sweet, creative, innocent, funny, and an amazing listener... but now... UGH! Now I'm starting to think with my dick again, and that's probably not a good idea. Correction it's the worst idea. Why did those girls have to make her over? She didn't need it. Now all I could think about was jumping her. So for now I'll stay away. Just for tonight. Tomorrow she will be back to normal, and I wont have to worry about wanting to jump her.

All of a sudden someone slammed into my right shoulder, sending my head against the window.

"Owe. Fuck. What was that for?" I turned my head to notice that Evan was still in the passenger's seat.

"Seriously dude? What is wrong with you? Why didn't you say something to Cadee? Did we not agree that if nothing else you're still her friend? She was looking to for support. Everyone could tell she didn't feel right all dressed up. She needed affirmation from _you_. Yet all you can do is says its time to go."

"What? You wanted me to tell your little sister that she looked hot? While I was standing right next to you? You're messed up, you know that?"

"Why not? Jack had no problem. Besides, all I want is for her to be happy. I don't have to like the fact that you're the one who can do that."

"No. Stop right there." I was seriously getting pissed. I got out of the car and started walking in the opposite direction as the party. Unfortunately Evan decided to follow. I turned on my heel, and got in his face.

"Do you want to know what I was thinking back there? I'll tell you what I was thinking! I've never, not once thought about Cadee the way I do other girls. She's not like other girls. You know as well as I do that I tend to think with my dick and nothing else. Cadee has always been that exception," I paused to catch my breath. I've never flipped out on Evan before. I take a step back and look away while I continue, "until tonight! Do you really want me to be wishing I could bang your sister, instead of just being with her? No, I don't think you do. I can't be around her while she's dressed like that."

"Fine. I get it. No Cadee tonight. Now can we please get to the party?"

"You go right on ahead. I'll stay in the car."

It was Evan's turn to blow up at me. I was being childish. I knew that. "No, you wont. We are both going to this party, whether you like it or not. What happened to your protector act? If you and Jack flip at seeing Cadee like that, what do you think the guys in there will think?" He stabbed his finger towards the party. My eyes follow the direction of his hand. He then turned around and strode towards the lake without seeing if I would follow. He knew I would.

I found the alcohol at once. I couldn't face Cadee again tonight without it. I made my way over to an empty bench out of the way. The yard between the lake and the house was lined with thousands of Christmas lights and torches. I had to admit it looked pretty cool. Someone had set up speakers by a shed where someone acted as the DJ. The middle of the lawn looked like a dance floor.

I was actually starting to relax until I saw Cadee. She was in the middle of the lawn, surrounded by people. She was dancing with some guy. I don't think I've ever seen her dance before. I don't think dancing in her room when she thought no one was watching counted. She turned to face the guy she was dancing with, and I caught a glimpse of her face. She was smiling. Not just a plastered on, I want you to think I'm happy, smile, but a real smile.

The music changed from an upbeat pop song to a slow song. And that's when she put her hands on his shoulders, while I forced mine into fists.

Cadee:

Kara and I walked towards the party together hand in hand. I think she can tell I need the support. I'm so thankful we started hanging out. I've always needed a girlfriend. We make our way down towards the lake and stop near a tree just off the makeshift dance floor. Soon Rian finds us with drinks in hand. I take one. This isn't my first party; I go to parties all the time with Evan and Alex. This time feels different. I cant tell if its because I'm wearing a skirt, or if it's because Alex isn't by my side.

Kara nudges me, and tells me to look to my left. I see this cute guy walking towards us, and smile. This may not feel like any other party I've been to, but why not have a good time, right?

"Hey, I'm Derek. I noticed you standing over here and thought I'd ask you to dance." This boy is really cute. He's wearing basic jeans, a black polo, and a killer smile. This guy is nothing like the guys I usually like, but hey, it's a party.

"Um. That would be nice." He grabs my hand and leads me to where everyone else is dancing. I throw an OMG smile over my shoulder at Kara, who mouths 'I know' right back.

We start dancing to a recent pop song that is really catchy.

"So, I never got your name."

"Oh, I'm Cadee."

"Well Cadee, where do you go to school?"

"Delaney. You?"

"I'm actually a freshman at Towson."

"Really?" I've never been around a college guy.

The song changes and our conversation ends. Soon we are practically grinding. This so isn't me, but I'm having a good time.

When the song changes again, this time to a slow song, I spin around to face Derek. I put my hands on his shoulders and fall into step with him. I stop thinking about my night, and the party, and just listen to the song.

_Every time our eyes meet_

_This feeling inside me_

_Is almost more than I can take_

_Baby when you touch me_

_I can feel how much you love me_

_And it just blows me away_

While Derek and I are slowly turning with the music, I move a little closer and rest me head on his shoulder. This night hasn't turned out half bad. I became good friends with Kara, got a fun make over, and I'm dancing with a really cute college kid. It's almost enough to overshadow the fact that Alex has been ignoring me.

When the tempo changes as a new song starts to play Derek and I return to dancing like before, except he pulls me closer so that our bodies are touching while we move to the beat, and I let him. Slowly he starts to move his hands around my stomach, but I stop him. He is moving a little fast. He moves his hands back up to rest on my hips and starts to kiss my neck. When I try to move away, he spins me around and holds me tight. I put my hands on his chest to push him away, but he just holds me tighter and starts kissing me ferociously. I for the life of me cannot get this guy off me.

Then, suddenly Derek's hold loosens as he swirls around to a voice that sounds all too familiar.

"I said, let her go." Alex is now standing in Derek's face.

"She's dancing with me. Go find some other chick." Wow, this guy is a loser.

What Alex did next was unbelievable, and scary. Alex's fist connected with Derek's jaw, forcing him to release me as he stumbled back. I took a few steps back when I realized Derek was coming back at Alex. Before Alex could react, Derek punched him in the gut. I winced. Then out of nowhere, Evan came down on Derek's back forcing him to the ground.

I ran to Alex who was kneeling and holding his stomach.

"Are you okay?" I asked while trying to get him to stand up.

"I'm fine. What about you?" He said as he stood and looked into my eyes. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, thanks to you." I smiled.

We walked over to a small bench so Alex could sit.

"How did you know?" I asked once we were seated.

"Know what?"

"About that guy. That I needed help."

"Um." He looked over my shoulder, not meeting my eye. "I was watching you."

"Oh... Why? Why were you watching _me_?" He could be watching anybody. God knows there were enough girls around wearing little or no clothing. Just Alex's type.

"I don't know." Again he wouldn't meet my eyes.

"You're doing it again."

"What?"

"Avoiding eye contact."

"Oh, sorry," was all he said as Rian, Kara and Evan approached.

"Maybe we should call it a night." Rian said as he looked from Evan to Alex to me.


	6. Unexpected Consequences

Unexpected Consequences

Alex:

As we walked back to the car I pulled Cadee close to my side. She just looked up with a question in here eyes. I gave her a small grin and she tentatively smiled back. This time I sat in back with Cadee glued to my side. Kara was on her other side. I was surprised to notice they were holding hands. I didn't know they were close. Rian drove with Evan in the passenger's seat. While I was going to have a bruise on the right side of my stomach, Evan already had a bloody nose and cut under his eye.

Cadee wouldn't let go of my hand throughout the short car ride, and even when we had made it home. Not that I ever wanted her to let go.

"Well I should get Ev inside and cleaned up. Talk to you later?" She said while she started to pull away. I gripped her hand tighter.

"Actually I really wanted to talk now, if that's okay?" I saw the uncertainty in her eyes. I couldn't tell if it was because of Evan, or me.

Evan touched Cadee's shoulder and whispered just loud enough so I could hear. "Go. I can take care of my self."

She wavered for a second before nodding. "Okay let's talk."

I led her to my back yard, where the old tree house was. I gave her a boost and tried not to look up her skirt as she crawled into our childhood hideout. I followed into the small space. As soon as we were both seated I pulled her close to my side. I didn't ever want to let her go.

But she pulled away and faced me. "You wanted to talk."

"Yes. But you need to give me a minute. This is hard for me."

She looked deep into my eyes, as if she was searching for something. She must have found what she needed because she said, "Will you please tell me why you've been... distant?"

It was my turn. I couldn't stall any longer without pushing her farther away. "I. I mean. Look, this isn't easy for me." I said looking her square in the eye. "I never planned on telling you for a few reasons. First being I don't want anything to happen to our friendship. We've become really close, and our friendship is very important to me." I cleared my throat. "Second, I'm scared."

"Scared of what?" she asked, willing me to continue.

"I'm scared you don't feel the same way."

"Which is?" I guess she wasn't satisfied with my answer.

"I. I lo-. Dammit." I covered my eyes with my hand. I couldn't do it, I couldn't tell her.

"What is it?" she reached for my hand, pulling it into her lap.

That's when I did it. I stopped thinking, leaned in and kissed her. When our lips met it was like a touching a fire. The kiss was slow and innocent, but I could feel the fire moving through me. I've never felt anything like it. As quickly as it had happened it was over. Cadee was pulling away. I could see the tears welling up in those beautiful gray eyes.

"Cadee." I said reaching for her hand, but she pulled it away.

"I'm sorry, I have to go." She rushed out of the tree house, jumping before she was anywhere close enough to the ground.

"Cadee, wait!" but she wouldn't, she just ran faster and disappeared behind the wooden gate connecting our yards. I had screwed it up, this is exactly what I didn't want to happen.

Cadee:

I've never run so fast in my life. I can't believe he kissed me. Maybe Evan was onto something. He must have noticed the change in Alex the past few days and figured out the reason behind it, while I was left in the dark, until now. I ran past Evan and my mom, who was helping him get cleaned up, and ran straight to my room. Slamming the door I slid down the back and started to cry.

After a while I noticed a familiar beeping. I cringed when I realized it was my walkie-talkie. My eyes flashed to my window where I could see Alex looking over with his hand on the talk button of his walkie-talkie.

"Cadee, please answer. Grover. Come on." I jumped up and ran to my window pulling down the shade and closing the curtain. I fell onto my bed listening to Alex pleading with me to talk to him.

"Please. Cadee, we need to talk. I need to fix this. Cay? Please. Dammit!" his voice broke on the last word and I think I heard something break just before my walkie-talkie went silent.

I knelt down by the window wiping my tears, and pulled my curtain aside just enough to see Alex sitting with his back against the bed and his head between his knees.

The next week I avoided him like crazy. The first few days I sat in the library during lunch, and when I did I sit at our table, I sat between Jack and Evan. I would just put in my headphones and tune everything out. That night I had turned off my walk-talkie, and have yet to turn it on. It's been pretty easy to avoid him lately. Finals are coming up so I've been studying like I've never studied before. It's been a month since the party, and I still haven't said one word to Alex.

Now it's Friday. Alex is over; him and Evan are watching a movie in the living room. I haven't even told Evan about what happened, although I'm pretty sure Alex has. I need to get out of the house so I call Kara.


	7. New Friendships

New Friendships

Cadee:

I'm at Jack's again. Hopefully that isn't a bad omen or anything. We are all in the basement. Kara and I are sitting on the couch talking while Jack and Rian are playing Halo. I'm careful not to say anything about Alex and I, even though that's all anyone wants to know about. I don't know what the guys know and I don't want to be the one to spread the gossip.

The guys head upstairs to get us snacks, and Kara excuses herself to the bathroom. While I'm waiting for everyone to get back I pick up Jack's guitar, which had been standing against the wall next to the couch. I'm just playing around. I haven't touched a guitar in weeks. I have my own, but it mostly just collects dust.

"I didn't know you could play." Jack says as he sets down four sodas and sits next to me on the couch.

"I don't. I mean, Alex taught me a few times, but I'm not really that good." I say as I continue to play a few chords.

Jack just nods. "So, what's the story? With you and Alex I mean?"

"What do you mean?" I ask, not wanting to have this conversation.

"I mean, you guys used to be attached at the hip, but ever since that party you've barely said two words to each other. Did something happen at the party? Other than the fight I mean."

"No. Nothing happened." I lie.

"I may not know you as well as Alex does, but I can tell that you're not telling me something." I just look away; I still don't want to have this conversation. Jack must have noticed my expression because he continued, "Look, you don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to. Just know that I'm here. If you need a friend."

Jack has always been the goofy, wild, fun kid. He could make anyone smile. But I've never known this side of Jack, the sensitive, caring friend. I reached over to give him a one-handed hug. "Thank you." I say in his ear. "That means a lot."

Ever since, Jack has been the person I run to when I need a friend. He knows how to make me smile when I don't want to, and always lends me his shoulder to cry on. The only question he ever asks is, "Do you want to talk?"

My answer is usually no, but one day I finally said yes. I told him everything. I told him about how Alex and I used to talk every night. I told him how Alex used to be my best friend, my confidant, and my rock. I told him about Alex acting weird the few weeks before the party, and I told him about what happened in the tree house after the party. Jack never said a word. He just let me get everything out. It was relieving to finally tell someone my secrets. I had been holding everything in and it had been weighing me down.

Jack was my new best friend.

I started playing the guitar more and more. Jack taught me the chords I didn't already know and helped my practice. At home I would just play for fun. The music helped me deal with the empty feeling I felt sitting alone in my room. Lately I've been writing too. Alex had always said writing helped him deal with issues. I found that he was right. Writing helped a lot.

It's Wednesday, and the last day of school. I just took my last final and Jack and I decided to celebrate at his house.

Were in the basement again. This time we are watching a movie when his mom calls him upstairs to help unload the groceries. I pause the movie, wanting to wait for him to come back to finish it.

To pass the time I pick up Jack's guitar like I have almost everyday I come over. I start playing a song I've been messing around with at home. Slowly I start to hum, and then sing the lyrics softly.

_It takes some time to let you go and it shows_

_Cause all we know is falling, it falls_

_Remember_

_Cause I know we wont forget at all_

_You never, you never said-_

"You can sing too? Damn, girl. What else are you hiding?" I hadn't heard Jack approach.

"Yeah, right. I can pretend to sing. Its not like I sound any good."

"No you don't sound good."

"Gee, thanks" I say playfully.

"You sounded amazing!"

I just laugh it off. He just wants to see me smile. I can't actually sing.

It's about 8:00 when I get home and the guys are in Evan's room. I'm on my way to mine when Alex stops me in the hallway. I try to side step but fail.

"Excuse me." I say looking into his eyes for the first time in over a month.

"She speaks!" My brother exclaims from his bed.

I try again to walk around Alex to get into my room.

"Wait, I just want to know if you're coming to the show on Friday."

"Seriously?" I ask, disbelief flooding the word.

"Yes, seriously." He mimics. "I really want you to be there."

Instead of answering I move quickly past him into my room and shut the door. I can't lie. I miss Alex like you wouldn't believe. We went from spending every moment either together or on our walkie-talkies, to barely talking. I know I'm being immature. I should just talk to him. Put the past in the past and move forward. But I can't work up the nerve to face him.

Alex's POV:

"Dude, I told you." Evan's saying as I come back into the room.

I really do want her to come to the show. I finally finished the song I wrote for her, and I want her to hear it. Most of all I just want her there. I've never played a show without her there.

"Can you try and convince her to go?" I ask coming up with an idea.

"It's not going to work. You know as well as I do that when her mind is set no one can change it."

"Please?"

"She's not going to give in."

"Then make her." I say, getting frustrated.

"Yeah right! Like I could make Cadee do anything. Just forget about it."

He was probably right. Nobody could make Cadee do anything she didn't want to. I miss her. She was always my rock. The person I turned to when I didn't have anybody else, and now I lost her too.

The next couple of days are crazy. Even though school is out I'm still super busy. We have band practice everyday for four or five hours at a time to get ready for our first show of the summer. Every year we play at the Summer Kickoff Festival. We are on a bigger stage this year on the far end of the fair grounds. The Summer Festival is this big bash that goes for a week after school gets out. There's a fair, a carnival, and tons of music.

I've been perfecting my song for Cadee. I hope that when she hears it she'll understand how I really feel. That is, if I ever get a chance to play it for her. It's been over a month and she is still avoiding me. I don't know what else I can do.

The next day I decide to go to Jack's to work on our set list. When I get there, his mom ushers me to the basement door where I can hear people laughing. I guess the guys and Kara must be here. I make my way downstairs but trip over my feet at the bottom when I see that Kara and the guys aren't here. Cadee is. It looks like she and Jack are playing Twister and Jack is trying to distract Cadee by tickling her. I didn't know they were friends. I mean they sit by each other at lunch every day but I didn't know they hung out. I don't think they heard me approach so I clear my throat.

They both look up and Cadee falls when she realizes it's me.

"Hah! I win!" Jack says. Obviously trying to ease the tension that just engulfed the basement.

Cadee doesn't say anything she just stares at me and I stare right back.

This time it's Jack who clears his throat to get our attention. "Alex, I didn't know you were coming over," he says while glancing at Cadee.

"Umm, yeah sorry, I guess I should have called. I just thought we could work on our set list for Friday."

"Uh. Can we do it later?" He asks with another glance at Cadee. It's like he's trying to protect Cadee, but from what? Me? And that's when I realize it. That's exactly what he's doing. He can tell how uncomfortable she's become since I arrived and he doesn't want to upset her. When the hell did this happen? When did he become the fucking protector? That used to be my role.

"It's okay Jack, I should probably get home. I promised my mom I'd help her pack for her trip next week." Cadee says, and then glances at me before walking towards the stairs.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah Jack. Call me later, okay?" She says as she makes her way past me and up the stairs.

"Okay." Jack calls just before Cadee shuts the basement door. Then he turns to me.


	8. It's Show Time

It's Show Time

Alex:

"So any ideas so far? I was thinking we should open with _We Say Summer_, it is the Summer Kickoff Festival." Jack is saying.

"Umm. Yeah I was thinking the same thing." I pause to look at the door that Cadee just left through. "So how long have you and Cadee been hanging out?"

"A few weeks, I guess." He says while he moves to sit on the couch. I follow and take the seat next to him.

"Oh." I couldn't think of anything to say. For the past few weeks, while I thought Cadee had been hiding away in her room or hanging out with Kara, she was really over at Jack's. My head starts to pound thinking about it.

"Look, " Jack turns to face me. "I promised myself I wouldn't say anything. I really did not want to get involved, but you two need to talk."

"No shit. She wont talk to me, she'll barely look at me." I've tried over and over to fix the damage I caused by kissing her in the tree house, she wont give me the chance. But what does Jack know about Cadee and me? Just how much has she told him? I know I haven't said anything. How close are they? They've only been hanging out for a few weeks; they cant be that close, right?

"I know. Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I'm trying to figure out what you know. You said you two have been hanging out for a few weeks, but you're acting like you've known her forever. And why the hell didn't I know you guys were friends?"

"Uh. Cadee made me promise not to tell you or Evan that we were hanging out. She didn't want Evan asking questions, and I didn't want to be caught in the middle of you two." He paused. Looking straight ahead as he continued, "As for what I know. I know what she told me. That you kissed her and she was so confused she ran. She said she couldn't face you, and I guess she still can't."

"She told you all of that? She hasn't even told Evan any of that."

Cadee:

When Jack called later that night he asked if I was going to see the band's set at the festival. When I hesitated he begged, saying he needed me for luck. He was a liar, but I told him I would see the show. As much as I'd like to stay away from anything Alex related, I've never missed an All Time Low show, and figured I probably shouldn't start now.

The next afternoon I invited Kara over to get ready before the festival. She helped me do my hair. For the past couple weeks I've been trying to do different things with my hair, makeup, and clothes. I just felt like I needed a little change.

I decide on a pair of cut-offs that I made from an old pair of jeans, my green bathing suit with white stripes with a loose gray tank over it, and my black flip flops.

Evan left early with the guys to set up, so Kara gave me a ride to the fairgrounds. We got there around 4:00 so we could walk around and go on a few rides before the show at 7:00.

Around 6:30 Kara and I made our way to the stage where the boys would be playing. Kara ran off with Rian, who she hadn't seen in a few days while I found Jack tuning his guitar.

"You came!" He called out when I approached. Setting down his guitar he pulled me in to a bear hug.

"Of course. I said I would, didn't I?

"Yeah, but still. I never know with you." He said with a smile. "I should go get ready. You better stick around though. If you don't I will find you!" he said with a glint in his eye.

I laughed, said I'd see him after the show and went to find Evan and our parents, who I wasn't surprised was with Alex's parents. Soon the MC, a larger guy wearing board shorts and a white T-shirt came on stage to announce the band.

"How's every one doing tonight?" At the sound of cheers he responded, "Good, good, that's what we like to hear. Now this next band has become somewhat of a local favorite. They are natives of this wonderful town, four boys who like to rock. Give it up for All Time Low!"

The MC quickly exited the stage as the boys came out.

"Are you guys ready to kick off this summer?" Alex asked the crowd. At the sound of more cheers Alex continued, "good. This first song is for you. Its called _We Say Summer_, hope you like it."

_I have seen millions of faces,_

_Ever-unchanging; content with redundancy,_

_I'm not the same way_

_Searching for change in directions that I want to go._

When the first song came to an end they merged right into the next song.

_Here's to the fast times_

_The times we felt alive_

_To all the nights that we forgot to get back home_

_Stay seventeen_

_The party scene has got the best of me and you_

_We've got to let this go_

"Wow you guys are amazing. I can't tell you how cool it is to hear you singing along! I'll need your help on the next one too. This is _Lullabies_.

_Make it a sweet, sweet goodbye_

_It could be for the first time and it's not right._

"_Don't let yourself get in over your head," he said_

_Alone and far from home I'll find you..._

I always tear up when they play this song. I still don't know how Alex is able to sing this without breaking down. He wrote this song about his brother, Daniel.

_Sing me to sleep_

_(You've taken so much with you)_

_I'll see you in my dreams_

_(But left the worst with me)_

_Waiting to say, "I miss you, I'm so sorry"_

"_I'm sorry, I'm so...sorry."_

Alex looks like he's having fun. He has always been in his element on stage. He knows how to hold the crowd's attention. "Thank you guys. That was so cool. These guys behind me don't even know the words to most of our songs, so it is so nice to hear someone who does. This next song is called _The Next Best Thing_."

_You were out of sight, now you are out of line_

_Went to your head, now you are left behind_

_Let me go, can't you see_

_You're just the next best thing to me_

_Here I go, honestly_

_You're just the next best thing to me_

"Alright, we're having fun right? Well now I want to see everyone on their fucking feet. Did you hear me? Get on your fucking feet. Yes, mom that means you!"

_Lipstick has a way of leaving more than just a mark on my sheets_

_Coloring my senses cherry red; at least for this week_

_Kisses under starry night skies, talked about in song_

_We play along, so bitter sweet by our design._

_I'm sick and tired of writing songs about you_

_This is it this is the end..._

At the end of the song Jack decided to join in on Alex's fun. "Alex wants us to play another new song for you guys tonight." I look around and notice the crowd has grown a lot and everyone is screaming and cheering. "Well, before we let him play his new song I have a new song that I wanted to share with if that's okay with everyone." Again more cheers from the crowd. The guys, on the other hand, look like they have no idea what is going on. They probably don't.

I, like everyone else, was expecting some corny mini song about bunnies and rainbows, or sex. Instead Jack starts to play a melody that seems familiar. As I look around, I realize that everyone else still doesn't know what is going on and that's when I realize that the song Jack is playing is my song. I look up to Jack who is smiling at me.

Jack stops playing and looks out at the crowd. "Now, I cannot sing anywhere near as good as Alex and since he doesn't know this song I'd like to bring up someone who does." He looks right at me. I shake my head. No way am I singing in front of these people. No way am I singing in front of Alex.

"Come sing for us, please?" At another shake of my head Jack turns to the crowd, "I think she's a little nervous let's get her up here. Cadee come sing with me! Cay-dee, Cay-dee!" The crowd starts to chant with Jack.

I cannot believe he is doing this to me.

I look over and notice Alex is watching me, waiting to see what I'll do. That's when I decide, why not? Why not show him a side of me he hasn't seen? Jack said he liked my voice and I trust that he wouldn't set me up to fail. I make my way to the side of the stage as everyone starts cheering. I cannot believe I am about to do this.

I walk to Jack who gestures for me to use his microphone. I look at Jack for support and he nods as he begins the song again. I take a deep breath and look first at the crowd and then at Alex as I start to sing.

_We've tried so hard to understand, but we can't_

_We held the world out in our hands and you ran away_

_It takes some time to let you go and it shows_

_Cause all we know is falling, it falls_

_Remember,_

_Cause I know that we wont forget at all_

_Now we can follow you back home but we won't_

_Is this what you had waited for? Just to be alone?_

_It takes some time to let you go and it shows_

_Cause all we know is falling, it falls_

_Remember,_

_Cause I know that we wont forget at all_

_You never, you never said_

_This wasn't what you wanted, was it? Was it?_

_This isn't what you wanted_

_This isn't what you wanted_

_Cause all we know is falling, it falls_

_Remember,_

_Cause I know that we wont forget at all_

After the first verse, Zach picked up on the chords, and Rian joined in making my song come to life. The whole time I watched for Alex's reaction. He just stood there and watched me with this amazed look in his eyes. When the song ended, Jack grabbed my hand and held it in the air saying, "Give it up for Cadee Jordan everyone!" I thanked him with a kiss on the cheek and moved off the stage, stopping when I heard the next words out of Alex's mouth. I turned and looked right in his eyes.

"That was amazing." After a brief moment he turned back to the crowd. "Well that was a treat, huh? Are you still up for another new song? I want to dedicate this next song to my best friend. This song is for you, Grover." He said with a smile as he glanced at me. "This is _Hit The Lights_ I hope you like it."

_I'm sitting here wishing for something that's missing_

_I'm waiting for you to tell me_

_That time keeps on passing_

_I'm hoping, I'm asking_

_To stand by your side_

_At least for tonight_

_Let's follow through with this reckless dream_

_That's tearing me up inside_

_And all the time we've been so innocent_

_So don't you go I've got you where I want you_

_And I'm never letting go_

_Hit the lights we'll be all right_

_Tonight our dreams come true_

_Now lets take our chances_

_Please give me your answer_

_It's all up to you so please take me away_

_We've waited for so long_

_I can't say it feels wrong to close my eyes_

_When all I see is you_

_Let's follow through with this reckless dream_

_It's tearing me up inside_

_And all the time we'll make it seem_

_Like we have nothing to hide nothing to hide_

_So don't you go I've got you where I want you_

_And I'm never letting go_

_Hit the lights we'll be all right_

_Tonight our dreams come true_

_I'm waiting for you to tell me_

_I'm waiting for you to tell me_

_That time keeps on passing_

_I'm hoping, I'm asking_

_To stand by your side_

_At least for tonight_

_Let's follow through with this reckless dream_

_That's tearing me up inside_

_And all the time we've been so innocent_

_So don't you go I've got you where I want you_

_And I'm never letting go_

_Hit the lights we'll be all right_

_Tonight our dreams come true_

_Now lets take our chances_

_Please give me your answer_

_It's all up to you so please take me away_

_We've waited for so long_

_I can't say it feels wrong to close my eyes_

_When all I see is you_

_Let's follow through with this reckless dream_

_It's tearing me up inside_

_And all the time we'll make it seem_

_Like we have nothing to hide nothing to hide_

_So don't you go I've got you where I want you_

_And I'm never letting go_

_Hit the lights we'll be all right_

_Tonight our dreams come true_

That was the song he was playing a couple months ago. A song that he said was for me. I couldn't handle it. I walked away from the crowd, found a bench on the other side of a shed and sat down. I could tell that they were playing another song, probably their last. I couldn't tell you which one because I had tuned everything out except for the thoughts about Alex and his song. I don't know how long I sat there but it must have been a good ten minutes when I received a text and looked down at my phone.

From: _Jack_

Message: _where are you? Are you okay?_

I decided to answer; otherwise I'd probably keep receiving similar messages until I did.

To: _Jack_

Message: _I'm fine. Don't worry. I'm behind the old shed on the south side of the fairground._

I sat there expecting Jack to come barreling around the corner at any minute. I couldn't stop thinking about that song. There was one verse that had caught my attention. The word's made sense: "So don't you go I've got you where I want you, and I'm never letting go." The words themselves didn't catch my attention; it was the way he sang them. I could hear the pain in his voice. He didn't want to let go. He wanted our friendship back. He needed our friendship back. I can't lie, so do I.

* * *

A/N: Please review. I want to know what you guys do/don't like. I'm already working on the next few chapters and should have them up soon. :)


	9. A Turning Point

A Turning Point

Alex:

All I could think at the end of the show was that I needed to find Cadee. I didn't even really care about how the show went. I had fun playing, and the guys looked like they were having fun, so that's all that mattered. All I cared about was finding Cadee and talking to her. I needed to know about that song. I didn't know she could sing and did she write it? I know Jack couldn't have. And why did she disappear after I played the song I wrote for her?

I found Jack talking to some kids I recognized from a rival school. "Have you seen Cadee?" I asked.

"No. Why?"

"I want to talk to her."

"Okay, I'll find her." He said and he pulled out his phone to text her. "She's behind that shed." He said after a moment and pointed to a shed off to the right.

I ran over to find Cadee sitting on a bench looking down at her hands. I walked up slowly and sat down beside her. She didn't look up, just sat there. I could tell she was thinking about something.

"Hey there." I said trying to catch her attention.

She glanced up; she didn't seem surprised to see me here. "Hey," she said in a quiet voice.

At least she wasn't running. Yet. "So, you sounded great up there. I didn't know you could sing." I had heard her sing in the car and when we were fooling around, but I had never heard anything like what I heard tonight.

"Uh, thanks." She sounded nervous, like she didn't know whether or not to believe me.

I reached for her hand but she pulled it away. I guess I had to do this carefully. "Did you write that?" she just nodded. "When?" I asked.

"A couple weeks ago." She still wouldn't look directly at me.

"It was really good."

She just nodded. This was tense. I didn't know what to do. We used to be able to talk so easily. Now I was pulling for straws. After a moment of just sitting there while I watched her, she turned to me and looked me right in the eye.

"Alex?"

"Yeah?" I couldn't tell what she was thinking.

"I miss you." I could barely hear her whispered reply.

"I miss you too. And I'm sorry."

"No. You don't have to say that. I never should have... I should have..." she glanced away for a second before finishing. "Can we start over? As friends, I mean. I was stupid to let our friendship suffer. I need my best friend back"

"I've missed you too, Grover." But I don't want to be just friends with her. I want to be with her. I love her. I grabbed her hand and she let me, slipping her fingers through mine.

"I missed this," she said.

I leaned in to kiss her, to show her how I felt. I needed to tell her that I loved her. I needed her to know the truth. But she turned her head to avoid my lips.

"Please don't." she whispered. "I cant. I just want my friend back," she said as she looked back at me.

I just nodded. There wasn't anything else I could do. I had missed my chance. If I kissed her now I could lose her again. I just got her back. If she just wanted to be friends, then I would be there. As much as I wish we could be more.

Cadee:

If I'm going to get him back, I need it to be for real and the only way that can happen is if were just friends.

Things are definitely different. We aren't the same friends we used to be. I don't think we can be. I'm careful around Alex now. I make sure not to get too close. We still hold hands sometimes, but I've made a habit of not allowing our fingers to lace together. When I'm over at his house and it gets late I make myself leave when usually I would have just slept with Alex.

Every year our families take a camping trip together. We go out to the campground on the lake, set up tents and live outdoors for a weekend. Today is Friday and we've just finished setting up our tents. There are always two tents, one for the parents and one for the boys and me. My parents have never thought twice about me sleeping in the boy's tent. Even as we got older my parents have always thought of us as the three musketeers, the three best friends. They're right. We have always been the three best friends, even if we've hit some roadblocks.

I'm setting up my sleeping bag. Evan had already set his up in the right-hand corner of the tent so I place mine next to his, in what will inevitably put me in the middle of the boys, like its always been. I guess Evan is determined to act like nothing has changed. Once we are done helping our parents set up camp, the three of us change and head to the beach. We head out to the dock where I decide to lay out and relax, while the guys decide to horse around. Typical boys.

I know I've been lying there for a while and I can still hear the guys in the water when I feel someone climb onto the dock and sit down near my side. I look over to see a silhouette. I can't tell who the person is because of the glare from the sun. Then he speaks.

"Your Cadee. Right?"

I sit up hoping to get a view of this guy. "Um yeah." As the glare slowly fades I can see that it is a guy from my school. His name is Jesse and he's really cute. I think he is the same age as the guys, maybe older.

"Having fun out here all by yourself?" he asked with an easy smile.

"I'm not by myself. I'm here with my family. My brother and friend are somewhere out here." I explain.

"Okay. Your brother is Evan Jordan. Right?"

"Yeah that's him." I say.

"So. How long are you guys out here for?"

"Just the weekend. It's a family trip, we do it every year."

"Sounds fun." I can't tell if he's being sarcastic or not. "I heard there is karaoke tonight at the boathouse, are you going?"

"Oh. I don't know. Maybe. I'll have to ask the guys."

Just then Alex jumps on the dock and starts shaking his hair over me.

"ALEX! Your getting me soaked."

"Kind of the point, Grover." I shot him a glare as I stood up.

I playfully smacked Alex on the arm, "and here I thought you loved me," I said with a fake pout before I pushed him back into the water. I turned to Jesse, "I've got to go."

"Maybe I'll see you tonight?" I just smile as I dive into the water and try to catch up to Alex.

Alex:

As we are walking from the beach back to our campsite I throw my arm over Cadee's shoulder.

"So who were you talking to back there?" I had noticed the guy checking her out when she wasn't looking.

"His name is Jesse. He goes to our school."

"Yeah, man. He's in our Chem. class." Evan pitches in. I choose to change the subject. I don't really want to talk about some guy who was probably just hitting on Cadee.

"What's the plan for tonight?" I ask.

"Don't know, mom said they are going out on the boat after dinner, but were on our own," Evan says.

"I heard there's karaoke tonight." Cadee suggests.

Karaoke sounds fun.

After dinner we head to the boat house, where Cadee said the karaoke would be. The boathouse is small, and it's packed with campers. Over by the counter you can see a microphone and a TV set up, where a couple of kids are attempting to sing_ Kryptonite_ by 3 Doors Down.

I notice a sign up sheet and slip away from Cadee to sign us up. She'll probably give me hell for it later but I know she'll have fun. I move off to the side and find a table set up near the back. When I find Evan I wave him over.

"Hey, where did Cadee go?" I ask as soon as he sits down.

"Oh she ran into that guy from the beach. They're over there." I follow his gaze and find Cadee standing by the door talking to that guy again. I know I'm just being jealous, but I really don't like that guy.

Soon our names are called and I meet Cadee at the counter. She smacks my arm, "What are we singing?"

"This." I say pointing at the screen. She just laughs.

"Okay, let's do this."

When the music starts to play she grabs my hand.

_I want you to know that I'm happy for you_

_I wish nothing but the best for you both_

_An older version of me_

_Is she perverted like me?_

_Would she go down on your in a theatre_

_Does she speak eloquently?_

_And would she have your baby_

_I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother_

_'Cause the love that you gave that we made_

_Wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide, no_

_And every time you speak her name_

_Does she know how you told me you'd hold me?_

_Until you died, 'til you died_

_But you're still alive_

_And I'm here to remind you_

_Of the mess you left when you went away_

_It's not fair to deny me_

_Of the cross I bear that you gave to me_

_You, you, you oughta know_

_You seem very well, things look peaceful_

_I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know_

_Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity?_

_I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner_

_It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced_

_Are you thinking of me when you fuck her_

_'Cause the love that you gave that we made_

_Wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide, no_

_And every time you speak her name_

_Does she know how you told me you'd hold me?_

_Until you died, 'til you died_

_But you're sill alive_

_And I'm here to remind you_

_Of the mess you left when you went away_

_It's not fair to deny me_

_Of the cross I bear that you gave to me_

_You, you, you oughta know_

_'Cause the joke that you laid in the bed that was me_

_And I'm not gonna fade_

_As soon as you close your eyes and you know it_

_And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back_

_I hope you feel it...well can you feel it_

_And I'm here to remind you_

_Of the mess you left when you went away_

_It's not fair to deny me_

_Of the cross I bear that you gave to me_

_You, you, you oughta know_

When the song ends everyone is cheering. I sang the first verse with Cadee, and then let her take over. She killed the song. I noticed she kept glancing at me with a smirk, so I know she had fun. We find Evan by the door and follow him outside.

"That was amazing Cadee."

"Oh, shut up. It was just karaoke." She says as she punches his arm.

"No, he's right. That was so cool. You have a great voice." I hear from behind me. It's that guy again, why the hell does he keep showing up?

"Thanks." I think I just saw Cadee blush. She never blushes.

"Anytime." I just want to wipe that smirk off his face.

"Thanks for recommending this. I had fun." She smiles at him before turning to me. So he's the one who told her about karaoke.

"Alex, are we still going swimming tonight?"

"Uh. Yeah, if you want. I'm going to head back and change." I start to head up the trail, I can't stick around and watch them flirt. It's hard enough being just friends with Cadee, there is no way I can watch her with another guy.

Cadee:

"I'll meet you there." I call out as Alex walks away. He's been acting weird ever since this morning at the beach and I don't know why.

"I don't think your boyfriend likes me." Jesse is saying.

"Who."

"Alex. I don't think he likes me."

"Oh. He's not my boyfriend. We're just friends." Why does everyone think we're dating?

"Really? That's cool." I blush but try to cover with a smile.

"I should go meet up with them. I'll see you later?"

"I hope so. Night." He says as he turns to leave in the opposite direction.

When I get back to the campsite Alex is already in his swim trunks sitting on the picnic table bench watching the fire that is almost out.

"Hey. Is Ev changing?" I ask, not wanting to enter the tent if he is.

Alex nods, "Yeah, he should be out any minute. I see you've made a new friend."

"Yeah, I guess. I mean he seems nice enough." Alex just nods while looking into the fire. Luckily Evan emerges from the tent, ready for the beach, allowing for a break in the tension growing between Alex and I.

I moved quickly to the tent to changing into my bikini. I had bought a new one the week before for the summer. I slipped on the black bottoms and was reaching for the navy blue top when I heard Evan's voice drift toward me.

"She had fun tonight," he was saying.

"Yeah." I just barely heard Alex mumble.

"Dude, just remember what I said, be there for her."

I didn't hear Alex's reply, if there was one. When did Evan tell Alex to be there for me? As far as I know he still doesn't know the whole story. I emerge from the tent and grab a towel from the line hanging by the fire.

"You guys ready?" I ask. In response they stood and started towards the beach with me in tow.

When we got back to the beach it was completely silent. It had to be about 10:00 and there was no one in sight. I the moon was almost full and seemed to take up the whole sky.

I dropped my towel and ran to the shoreline, pausing to see if the boys were following me before I ran into the water. The water was just cool enough to be refreshing and I dove in as soon as I was deep enough. I could hear the guys complaining behind me about the water being too cold. I just laughed as I made my way back to where they had stopped.

"Come on guys. Don't be pussies." I teased as I splashed Evan before jumping on Alex's back, soaking him instantly.

"You are so in for it." He said as he reached back to pull me over his shoulder. He started to run deeper into the lake before finally releasing me, dropping me into the water. I smiled as I came to the surface just as he had turned away from me. I silently wrapped my arms around his waist as I pulled him under with me. We hadn't had this much fun in months. I had missed this. I missed not having to be careful around him. Not constantly questioning if I was somehow leading him on. It felt great to let go and be free for a night.

When Alex surfaced, shaking the water out of his hair, he turned and picked me up in a bear hug. I whispered into his ear, "I missed you."

That's when it happened he leaned back to catch my eye before he leaned back in to kiss me. Our lips had barely touched when I pulled away. I guess I couldn't be carefree around Alex anymore. Even though I had tried my best not to, I had lead him on. How stupid could I be?

He set me down and started to say he was sorry when I put my finger to his lips. "No. Don't say it. I'm sorry." I turned and dove into the water.

Alex:

I knew right when it happened that I shouldn't have done it. I shouldn't have kissed her. We had been having fun. Cadee seemed like her old self. She wasn't being careful anymore. She was no longer distant and when she said she missed me I took it as a sign. I'm the one who kissed her, yet she wouldn't let me apologize. Instead she said she was sorry. For what? She didn't do anything; I'm the one who made the move.

I realize now what she meant when she said she missed me; she obviously missed our easy friendship. I did too. So, instead of making a big deal about what had happened I decided that if she was going to forgive me instantly, then all I could do for her was act like it had never happened.

We swam and horsed around in the lake for a few hours before making our way back to the campsite.

We sat by the fire that Evan had started back up to dry off before we headed to bed. Cadee had dug out the marshmallows, graham crackers and chocolate for s'mores. She handed Evan and I each a marshmallow before placing her own on the metal skewer that she placed over the fire. I couldn't help but watch the sparks from the fire play in her gray eyes.

I force my gaze away, taking my marshmallow out way before it is melted and make my s'more. When we have dried off, Cadee heads to the tent to change while Evan and I quickly change behind the tent.

Once we have all made it into the tent I can tell that Cadee is still wound up, while I could fall asleep at any moment. She decides we should play a game and we settle on good old Truth or Dare. With the three of us, it's usually always a Dare or Dare game. Very few truths are ever told.

Evan starts. "Cadee. Truth or dare?"

"Dare." What did I say?

"Okay, I dare you to sing one of Alex's songs."

"Seriously? Okay." She glances at me before she starts.

_Shut your mouth and listen closely,_

_Because this silence isn't easy_

_So I'll break it even harder than before_

_Because I'm 16 going on the end of my days,_

_And if words aren't going to cut than I'll find another way._

_Because I'm leaving what I know behind,_

_And I'm living out my chance to shine_

_Like the stars now fading from your eyes_

_And I hope you'll understand_

"Ha, wow." she laughs as she looks at my smile. I wonder why she chose that song. "Okay my turn. Evan, truth or dare?"

"Dare!"

"I dare you to run from the tent to the lake and back."

"Seriously? That's nothing." He says.

Cadee just smiles with a glint in her eye, "Naked!"

"No way." Evan says.

"Man, you can't turn down a dare." I chime in.

"Fine. Here goes nothing." He undresses and peeks out the tent before sprinting into the night.

"Do you think he will actually go all the way to the lake?" Cadee asks.

"No, he'll probably hide in a bush then run back." I laugh at the picture of Evan ducking behind a bush naked. Cadee laughs with me. When Evan comes back a minute later out of breath he just glares at us while he puts his clothes back on and says, "Okay your turn. Alex, truth or dare."

"Dare." What did I tell you? It's always a dare game.

He gets this evil look in his eye and glances at Cadee when he says, "I dare you to kiss Cadee."

I just stare at him. "No." I say glancing at Cadee. I don't want to do anything that could mess up our friendship again. I got lucky earlier, but that's not to say so wouldn't run away if I did it again.

"Dude, you said it yourself. You can't turn down a dare."

"Fine. Then I choose truth." Evan gave me a knowing glance. He thought I wouldn't do it because of my 'noble' act of staying away from Cadee, he still didn't know about the kiss in the tree house.

"Fine. Truth. What is your most memorable kiss? When, where, and who?"

That wasn't much better. I glanced at Cadee. Asking her with my eyes if it was okay for me to tell Evan about our kiss. She seemed to understand my question because she gave me a half smile and nodded.

"Okay. It was a couple months ago in the tree house." I stopped to glance at Cadee again.

"Who?" Evan asked, impatient to get the details. I could tell he was confused that I had never told him about kissing someone in the tree house.

"Umm. Cadee." I said looking straight at Evan who immediately looked at Cadee.

She didn't say anything so he asked, "Seriously? How come I didn't know about this? Never mind. Is that why you guys didn't talk forever? Shit, why didn't I figure that out?" he must have realized that he was right because he shut up.

It was silent in the tent so I decided to call it a night and lay down in my sleeping bag. I look at Cadee and Evan who are just staring at each other. I can tell he wants to talk to her but I don't think he dares while I'm here and I he knows she won't say anything right now anyway. I just turn and face the side of the tent, determined to forget about the whole day. Minutes later I feel Cadee's arm slip under mine as she gets into her sleeping bag. I turn onto my back to glance at her. She has this worried expression that I can't place. I throw my arm around her shoulder and pull her to my chest, placing a kiss into her hair. I just want to make her comfortable. She closes her eyes, drifting off.

"I really am sorry you know." She's whispering, probably so Evan won't hear. She looks up with unshed tears.

"You don't have to be sorry. Stop worrying. I'm fine." I lie.

After a few minutes passed, and I thought she had fallen asleep I hear her whisper again, "I would if I could, you know."

"What?" I ask. I have no idea what she is talking about.

"I would be with you if I could. It hurts me knowing that I'm hurting you."

"Shh. Go to sleep." I say, not wanting her to blame herself.

* * *

**A/N: I am working on the next few chapters, but I won't post them until I get more views/reviews.**


	10. We Say SummerMoving On

We Say Summer/Moving On

Cadee:

The next day I wake up to Alex's mom, Isobel, peering in through the tent door. I'm still curled into Alex's side and he's dead asleep. I can't help but glance over to see his easy grin. For some reason I feel a little knot in my stomach. Before I can think about it, I hear Isobel calling my mom over. She hadn't noticed I was awake. So I close my eyes and pretend I'm still asleep.

"Cindy, come look at this. Alex and Cadee look so cute." Why was everyone saying stuff like that. We're not a couple or anything. We're just friends. Good friends.

"Oh, that's adorable. Do you think they're dating yet?" What is that supposed to mean? Yet? Do they expect us to get together?

When I'm sure they are gone I look back up at Alex's sleepy grin. Why would our parents want us to be together? I don't get it. I slowly pull away from Alex, careful not to wake him, and exit the tent.

I'm still in the shorts and tank I wore to bed when I join our moms who are seated at the picnic table playing cards. "Morning," I mumble, faking a yawn.

"Morning sweetie, are the boys awake?" my mom asks.

"No, I don't think so."

"We were thinking about taking a walk down to the point, do you want to join us?" Isobel asks.

"Sure," I get up to join them. We used to do this all the time while the boys slept in. You couldn't get them out of bed until at least 11:00, so us girls would go for a walk. We would talk about what was going on in my life, talk about the boys, and the stupid things they had done recently. But today I couldn't bring myself to share anything. We walk in silence to the point where we find a spot out on some rocks. When we are seated and looking out at the other end of the lake, the questions start.

"So, is there anything new going on?" my mom asks. I could tell she was digging for information. As I got older, I tended to share less and less, and it must have bothered my mom.

"Not really." I lie.

"Have the boys been behaving?" Isobel asks, attempting to help out my mom in her search for info.

"They've actually been pretty good lately." I say, meaning it. They haven't done anything crazy or stupid lately. Well, besides Alex trying to kiss me again.

"You know, we never did get the story about what happened at the party. Evan said he got that cut in a fight, is that true?" my mom chipped in.

"Um, yeah." I say remembering something else that had happened that night.

"What was the fight about?" Isobel asks.

"Well, it was just this guy that I had been dancing with." I say nonchalantly, hoping they will stop with their questions. No such luck.

"Why would he get in a fight with someone you were dancing with?"

I decided to give in and tell the whole story. It was a lot easier than them asking a million questions.

"Oh, honey, why didn't you tell me?" my mom asks, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.

"Cause I didn't need to. It wasn't a big deal, the guys took care of it." I shrugged to show that she didn't need to worry.

"Well thank God for that," my mom sighed as we started to stand. The boys should be up soon so we decided to head back. It was nice to spend time with my mom, and Isobel.

When we make it back to the campsite the boys are already up and heading for the beach. "You coming with us?" Evan asks as I pass him on my way to the tent.

"Yeah. I'll meet you there." I need to change and don't want them to have to wait for me. I notice Alex watching me from his seat by the fire. I can't help but notice how good he looks with his sleepy face and messy hair. I shake my head, smiling to myself. What am I thinking? It must be everyone that has been talking about us. I've begun to think like them. To notice the little things I was too oblivious to see before.

Before I can close the zipper on the tent my mom slips through grabbing a seat on my sleeping bag. "I was hoping we could talk some more."

"I'm getting ready to head to the beach with the guys," I say.

"Oh, I know. But I had a question."

"Sure, what is it?"

"Well I've noticed that you and Alex are hanging out again. That's good. I don't know what happened between you two, but I'm glad to see you worked it out." She seems to be watching me, looking for some kind of sign so I just smile.

"Yeah me too."

"Well, Isobel and I have been watching you two, and we can't help but think that you like each other. Do you? Are you guys-"

I cut her off, not wanting to hear it out loud. "No mom. We're just friends. Always have been. Why would you think we like each other like that?" I seem to be asking this question a lot. Maybe I should know the answer by now.

"Like I said, we've been watching you two. And you seem to be watching each other. I don't think I've ever seen him take his eyes off you. I also noticed how you seem kind of protective of him. Not to mention Isobel and I saw how you two fell asleep last night. Don't get me wrong we've seen you sleep like that millions of times, but it just seemed more, I don't know, intimate this time."

Wow. I have to agree with her assessment of Alex watching me, I already knew that, but why did she think I was acting protective of him. He was the protective one, not me. "You got all of that from watching us?"

"So it's true. You guys do like each other." The look on my mothers face was a mix of hope and elation. I rolled my eyes at her expression.

"I didn't say that. Look, I'll tell you what is going on if you promise to stop asking questions." I say as I finish changing and take a seat across from my mom. She nodded immediately, eager to get the information she's been working for all morning. "And, you can't tell Isobel." Her face fell slightly but she nodded. So I continued. "You're not getting every detail, but I will say that Alex does like me, as more then friends, but I don't feel the same. He's my best friend and I love him, but not like that. That was part of the reason we stopped talking a while ago, but anyway. We are friends again, that's all that matters."

"I knew it. He is in love with you."

"Whoa. Who said anything about love." I know I hadn't.

"Sweetie, it's written all over his face. Are you sure you don't like him too?" she asks, smoothing out the blanket beside her.

"I'm sure." I say simply, getting up to head for the beach.

"Thank you for telling me, I know you didn't have to, so thank you." I smiled and gave her a hug before grabbing a towel and walking towards the trail that led to the lake.

About halfway down the trail I ran into Jesse. He was headed to the beach as well.

"I did get to see you again after all," he says as he falls into step beside me.

I smiled. I liked this guy. He was cute and funny, not to mention he seemed interested in me. Last night we had talked for a while about everything from music, to friends, to school. He was easy to talk to, and I felt comfortable around him. On our way to the beach we start talking again and soon we are both laughing. I glance over at Jesse through my bangs as soon as I catch my breath, and that's when I realize I like him. Not like I like my friends like Jack and Evan, and not how I like Alex. It's something different. I don't want to be friends with Jesse. Just then he turns to catch me staring, and stops on the trail. I stop beside him, looking up into his blue eyes as he leans down. Soon our lips meet as I move my hands to his bare chest. My hands burn with the touch and I lean into him. Jesse's puts one hand on the small of my back, pulling me closer, while his other hand moves to my neck to get tangled in my hair.

I can feel the warmth we are creating and step back in amazement. Looking up, I smile as I take his hand in mine and we walk the few feet to the sandy beach.

Alex:

As I'm leaving the campsite I notice Cadee's mom follow her into our tent. I can't help but wonder why. They used to be really close, but you know teenagers, they always pull away from the adults in their lives. I wonder what they are talking about on my way to the beach and can't help but think back to when I woke up a little while earlier. I had fallen asleep with Cadee in my arms. I woke up once to find her still there, but this morning she was gone. I soon found out that the girls had gone on their morning walk to the point. I always wondered why they didn't just sleep in like Evan and I.

When we get to the beach it's still pretty empty. We set our towels down by a wooden bench and make our way towards the water. We start horsing around, like we usually do and I start to forget about Cadee for a bit, until I look towards the shore at one point and see her at the tree line.

She's with that guy from yesterday, and they have stopped to look at each other. That's when it happened. They kiss. It doesn't seem like a normal first kiss. Her hands are on his chest and he's holding her tightly. I quickly look away feeling a prickling in my eyes. I dive into the water, not wanting Evan to see. When Cadee makes her way to us, Evan and I are on the dock facing the opposite shore.

"Miss me?" she asks as she sits down between us.

"How was your walk this morning? Did you three share any juicy secrets?" Evan asks.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" she teases.

I watch her lean back on her arms and tilt her head back, letting the sun warm her. I can tell by her small smile that she is really happy. I can't help but wish it were because of me, and not the guy she just kissed.

I realized then what I had to do. Not only did I have to act like the best friend that Cadee missed, I also had to let her be happy, even if it was with someone else. I had to let her be with that guy, I could tell that she really liked him.

The next week, after we came home from our camping trip, I had to get ready for the short tour me and the guys were going on. Our parents took turns taking us to different cities to play shows. This time we were going to New Jersey and then Pennsylvania for two weeks before coming back to Maryland to play a few shows.

It was Wednesday, the day before we were supposed to hit the road, and Cadee had come over to hang out. I could tell see had something on her mind, but didn't want to ask, afraid it had to do with Jesse, her new boyfriend.

"Hey Alex?" she asked.

"Yeah?"

"Would you be totally mad if I didn't go out with you guys this time. On tour I mean."

This totally threw me. I had no idea she was planning on staying home. She always came out with us. I didn't know what to say.

"You don't want to come with us?" I asked.

"No, I do, but I kind of wanted to stay and spend the end of the summer with Jesse." She was looking right into my eyes, probably trying to guess what I was thinking.

"Oh, right. I mean, you don't have to come with us, I just thought you wanted to. If you want to spend time with Jesse I understand." I looked away, not wanting her to read what was probably written all over my face. Disappointment. I had been looking forward to spending the last few weeks of summer with Cadee. But I understood, she wanted to spend time with her boyfriend, and I wasn't going to stop her.

"Really? Cause I'll come if you really want me to."

I guess she had seen my expression anyway, or she just knew me that well. "No, really. It's okay. Stay here." I turned and smiled, trying to reassure her.

Cadee:

It's been almost a week since Alex and the guys left. I've spent everyday with Jesse. Either at the pool, the arcade, the pier, he even got me to go bowling. I must admit I suck at bowling, but he insisted that it would be fun. I actually had a really good time. We bowled for an hour or so, talked endlessly, and ate pizza in the lounge attached to the bowling alley. I think it was one of the best dates I've been on.

I can't help but think about how Alex is doing. I know him and the guys must be having fun, they always do, but I can't help but wish I were with them. This is the first time I've missed an All Time Low show, not to mention a whole bunch of them. After the shows we usually go back to the hotel and stay up all night talking or swimming or playing games. I miss Alex.

Alex:

Were in Pennsylvania. We just got done playing and are standing outside of the theatre talking to some kids who had come to the show. I'm thinking about Cadee, just like always. I miss having her here with us. I can't help but think we may be drifting apart, I mean, we used to do everything together. This past spring and summer, we've spent more time apart than we have together.

Jack slaps a hand on my back pulling me into reality.

"Alex here, writes all of the lyrics," he's saying to a group of girls who had probably asked a question about our songs.

"Uh, yeah," I say, trying to focus on the group in front of me.

"I like your song _Running From Lyons_. What is it about?" a girl with reddish brown hair asks. She is kind of cute and I notice all of her attention is focused on me.

"A friend," I answer. The guys have been trying to distract me and tell me to let loose a little and have fun like we used to. Maybe this girl could help me do that. I zero in on her noticing that she is still watching me even though all the other girls have turned to Jack, who is telling some ridiculous story. I smile and step towards her. "So, are you from here?" I ask.

"Kind of. I live about twenty minutes away. How long are you guys here for?" I can't help but see the eagerness in her eyes; she's interested in me.

"Just until tomorrow. We're playing a few shows on our way back to Baltimore." I pause thinking through my new plan for tonight. "Did you want to hang out tonight? I mean, I understand if you need to leave soon, but I'd like someone to hang out with. Don't get me wrong I love these guys but they tend to disappear before we get to the hotel."

"I'd love to." A huge smile spreads across her face.

We ditch the crowd around the guys and I lead her back to the hotel the guys and I are staying at. When we get to my room we talk for a few hours. I find out that her name is Jasey; she's seventeen and likes photography. We're making out when Jack comes into the room through our connecting doors.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't know you had company." He says before shutting the door.

I just laugh as I turn back to Jasey. She starts pulling on the hem of my shirt, and before I can think about it, I'm unbuttoning her jeans.

The next morning I wake up next to Jasey, who is still half undressed. I get up to take a shower and when I come back out she's already up and dressed.

"I should get going. My friends are probably wondering where I am."

"Right, of course. I should probably pack, we should be leaving soon too."

"I had fun last night. We should hang out next time you guys come up here."

"Of course." I lied. We exchanged numbers, even though I had no intention of calling her. She was supposed to be a temporary distraction, but I hadn't stopped thinking about Cadee at all.

An hour later, we were in the van headed towards Maryland.

"So Alex, I saw that girl leaving the hotel this morning. Want to share what you did last?" Jack asks.

"What do you think happened?" I retort. He knows exactly what happened, he just wants to hear me say it.

"No way! Alex slept with some girl from the show? Are you finally over Cadee?" Zack chimes in.

I stay silent, giving all the answer they need. I'm not over Cadee, nowhere close, and I didn't want to admit to having a one-night stand with a fan.

* * *

**A/N: Don't worry this chapter is just a bump in the road for Cadee and Alex, stay tuned for tons of drama next chapter!**


	11. Tell Me I'm A Wreck

Tell Me I'm a Wreck

Cadee:

I'm going to surprise Alex today. He's playing a show a few hours away, their last one before they come home. Evan and I are in the car headed to the show.

"You actually survived two weeks away from Alex. I thought you would have begged dad to bring you up to meet them at least a week ago."

"Ha ha. It was only two weeks not a year. Besides I talked to him a few times."

"Only a few times? I would have thought you'd be on the phone with him every night like normal."

"You know normal has changed for us." I say.

"Right."

Evan now knows the whole story. He knows everything that has happened between Alex and I. But the truth is, I barely survived these past two weeks. They were hell. Don't get me wrong I had fun hanging out with Jesse, but I missed my best friend. For some reason these past few weeks without Alex seemed worse than when we weren't talking in the spring.

We get to the venue and find a spot near the front. When the lights dim and the boys come on stage, I smile widely. I'm not only excited to see my best friend again; I'm also excited to see the band that I've neglected, play.

"How's everyone doing tonight?" Alex asks the crowd. "Were going to start you guys off with a new song. This is our first time playing it, so enjoy."

_The lights out,_

_I still hear the rain,_

_These images that fill my head,_

_Now keep my fingers from making mistakes,_

_Tell my voice what it takes,_

_To speak up,_

_Speak up,_

_And keep my conscience clear when I wake._

_Don't make this easy,_

_I want you to mean it,_

_Jasey. (Say you mean it)_

_You're dressed to kill,_

_I'm calling you out, (don't waste your time on me)_

_Now there's an aching in my back_

_A stabbing pain that says I lack,_

_The common sense and confidence,_

_To bring an end to promises,_

_That I make in times of desperate conversation,_

_Hoping my night could be better than theirs in the end._

_Just say when._

_Don't make this easy,_

_I want you to mean it,_

_Jasey. (Say you mean it)_

_You're dressed to kill,_

_I'm calling you out, (don't waste your time on me)_

_I've never told a lie,_

_And that makes me a liar,_

_I've never made a bet,_

_But we gamble with desire,_

_I've never lit a match,_

_With intent to start a fire,_

_But recently the flames,_

_Are getting out of control._

_Call me a name,_

_Kill me with words,_

_Forget about me,_

_It's what I deserve,_

_I was your chance,_

_To get out of this town,_

_But I ditched the car,_

_And left you to,_

_Wait outside,_

_I hope the air will serve to remind you,_

_That my heart is as cold as the clouds of your breath,_

_And my words are as timed as the beating in my chest _

Alex looked down and saw me in the middle of the song. His face broke out into a smile. I couldn't help but think whom the song was about.

He had said it was new, and it seemed to be about a girl, but he hadn't told me that he had met anyone touring. I don't know why it bothered me so much. Shouldn't I be happy he met someone? Wouldn't that be a good thing? Then we could be just friends without me having to worry about leading him on.

For a moment, it felt like I couldn't breath. Why am I feeling this way? I've seen him with many other girls before, and I've heard the songs he's written about them. So what's the difference now? I know the difference, but I'm hesitant to admit it, even to myself.

The difference is I cant make up my mind. Do I really like Alex? As more than my best friend? If so, when did this happen?

After the show, Evan and I waited for the guys in the parking lot behind the theatre. The guys came out laughing. When Alex saw me, he ran over and picked me up, spinning us in a circle.

"Wow! I've missed you. Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" He was ecstatic.

"I wanted to surprise you. You were amazing tonight, you guys looked like you were having fun up there. I liked the new song." I said as I looked up, raising an eyebrow. He knew I was asking what it was about, and why I didn't know about it.

"Yeah, I just wrote it over the past few days. When did you two get here? Are you going back tonight?"

"We got here just before the show. Evan is driving home tonight."

"Oh. When are you heading out?"

"I'm probably going to head out in a few, it's already late." Evan says with a wink to me. Alex's smile had almost completely faded. He thought I meant we were both leaving tonight. He didn't know I was staying with him.

"Well, I guess I'll see you guys in a few days." He grabbed my hand and pulled me into a hug. "Thank you for coming."

"Thanks for the hug, but I'm staying," I said into his chest.

"What? But you said-," he was thoroughly confused.

"I said: Evan is driving home tonight. I'm staying with you." His smile alone made up for the two hour drive this afternoon. Sometimes it was so easy to make him happy.

Alex:

Not only did Cadee come all the way out to see me play, she was also staying to finish out our last few days on this tour. I can't tell you how happy I am right now. I have missed Cadee so much. Apparently I'm not so pleasant to be around when Cadee isn't around. The guys have been complaining about my grouchiness and laziness when it comes to anything but playing the shows. Usually we have tons of fun on tour. Even though one of our parents is always with us, we still find ways to party. Without Cadee here, I haven't wanted to do any of it. I have been holding myself up in my hotel rooms, thinking about Cadee. Pretty pathetic, I know.

"Now that Cadee's here, maybe we can get Alex out of his hotel room tonight. We have some partying to catch up on." Jack is saying behind me.

"You haven't been partying with the guys?" Cadee asks, obviously overhearing Jack.

"Umm. Not really. I haven't felt up to it." It's the truth.

"Well tonight I am going to make you feel up to it. How about we start early? Guys, where's the hotel?" She has made up her mind, and no one will be able to change it. I've learned that over and over again, the hard way.

We head back to the hotel where we change into our bathing suits. Cadee forgot to bring hers, but I lend her a shirt to wear over her underwear. Rian's dad is still up so we decide to hang out around the pool until we know he is asleep.

I can't keep my eyes off of Cadee. She looks so sexy in my t-shirt. I've seen her in far less; she's never been afraid to change in front of me and she's slept in just my t-shirts before. Not that I watch when she changes, I always turn away. But it's different now. For one I didn't feel the compulsion to look before and I've never thought of her as sexy until now.

I think she notices my eyes on her, because she turns to look at me. I just offer a small smile before I run and grab her by the waist before jumping in the pool. When we surface the look on her face makes me laugh.

"Oh, you think that's funny, do you?" she asks before dunking my head under the water.

We horse around for a little while longer before drying off as we head back to our hotel rooms.

While Cadee is changing in the bathroom the guys take the opportunity to jump on me, both literally and metaphorically.

"Hey guys, did you notice Alex is back?" Rian asked as he came into my room freshly dressed.

"We are never touring without Cadee ever fucking again!" Zack exclaims.

"Ha ha, aren't you guys just so funny?" I say as I lay back on the bed.

"Seriously, you are not the same when she's not around," Rian states the obvious.

"Who's not the same?"

Everyone jumped at the sound of Cadee's voice. She was standing against the wall outside the bathroom. How long had you she been standing there?

"Oh, hey. We didn't see you there," I said getting up off the bed. "Who's ready to party?"

"Finally!" Jack exclaims, running over to Cadee and giving her a high five.

Cadee just laughed as she walked over to sit by me. "I've missed you guys," she says as Zack hands her a red plastic cup.

"You mean, you didn't just come here to see me?" I ask

pretending to be offended.

She pushed me with her shoulder. "No, you know, not everything is about you. Did you know I've never missed one of you guy's shows until this summer? I had to make it up to the _band_."

"Oh, your going to make it up to us alright!" Jack said."

Cadee:

When I was done changing after we went swimming, I opened the door, ready to join the party, instead I heard the guys ragging on Alex for moping around these past few weeks, apparently because of me. I felt two things. I was sorry that he hadn't been having fun, I should have come on tour with them. I was also happy, because from what the guys were saying, Alex wasn't over me yet. Which gave me some time. I had to figure out what to do. But for now, I'm just going to ignore what I heard and party.

"Oh, your going to make it up to alright!" Jack is saying excitedly.

"Oh, no! What are you going to make me do?" I questioned. I wasn't really scared of what he'd want me to do, it was always something fun.

"Rian? Did you bring Jenga?" Jack asks turning to Rian.

"I think so."

While Rian is gone the guys clear away some furniture so we all have room to sit in a circle. When Rian comes back he dumps the box over to set up the tower of Jenga pieces.

Now, I know your probably wondering what's so special about Jenga? Isn't this supposed to be a party? This isn't just any old Jenga game. Each piece has either a saying or a number on it. If you pick one with a saying, then you have to follow the directions. The directions could be a dare or a question. If you pick one with a number you have to do what the number entails: 1- take a drink, 2-take two drinks, 3-pick someone else to drink, 4-pick someone else to take two drinks, 5-finish your drink, 6-all girls take one drink, and 7-all guys take one drink.

Rian finished setting up the blocks and pointed to me to go first. I always went first. The guys liked to say it was because they were gentlemen, you know 'ladies first,' but don't let them fool you.

I took the first block confidently. The first few rounds were pretty easy. The block had a 3 in black marker, lucky me. "Ha! Jack, take a drink," I said pointing to him.

"Why me?" he whined.

"Because you're the one who wanted me to play. Now drink up!" Jack took a drink from his plastic cup.

Rian was on my left so he went next. "It says, 'what is the craziest pickup line you have ever used?' uh, let me think. Okay. 'do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk by again?'" he said with a laugh.

"Dude that was lame!" Zack yells.

Jack was next. 7. So far this is working out to my advantage. All four of the boys took a drink.

Next was Zack. 4. "Alex," he said simply, nudging him in the arm.

"What? Seriously." He took two sips from his cup before reaching for the stack of blocks. "'Kay, it says, 'do a striptease performance and try to earn some tips.'"

"Sweet!" Jack shouts out.

"Woo!" I add.

Alex gets up, cursing Jack for picking this game. Then he turns to Zack while he shimmies and lifts his shirt slowly. I cant help but laugh, he's so adorable. At the sound of my laughter he turns toward me.

"Oh, you want some too?" he asks with an evil grin. He finishes taking off his shirt before turning around, dancing with his rear in my lap. Wow, did I miss this crazy boy.

When everyone was satisfied that he had completed the challenge he sat down, tipping his cup at me, "your turn."

We went a few more rounds before Rian passed out. Jack and Zack decided they needed food and left to call for delivery.

Alex and I were alone. And slightly drunk. I was terrified, yet thrilled at the same time.

* * *

**A/N: Thank you to all of my readers, you are awesome!**

**Special thank you to londonpunker14, thanks for your reviews, they encouraged me to rush along my story a bit. And hold in there for Cadee and Alex, I have a lot in store for them!**

**Everyone else, please remember to review, it will make my day! 3**


	12. Clumsy Little Heart

Clumsy Little Heart

Alex:

Rian passed out in the desk chair that he had been spinning around in and Zack and Jack ran off somewhere to find food. Now I found myself alone with Cadee.

We went into the other room that was connected to this one. I laid down on one of the beds and began to channel surf, looking for anything interesting. So far I had come up empty. I felt a shift in the mattress as Cadee joined me on the bed. I didn't bother to look over, assuming she was just watching TV with me before she fell asleep.

After a few minutes I glanced over expecting her to be curled up in a ball in an alcohol induced sleep. She had lucked out in our drinking game, not having to drink nearly as much as the rest of us, but she was always one of the first to fall asleep after our parties.

Instead, when I looked over I saw Cadee leaning against the headboard with her eyes on me. I smiled at the grin that came across her face when I turned. I turned to my side, propping my head on my hand.

"What are you smiling at?" I asked when I couldn't take the silence anymore.

"You," she said simply. I didn't understand what she meant by that.

"Why?"

"I can't smile at my best friend?" she asked with a hint of something I had never heard from her before in her voice.

I just smiled brighter at her response. I missed having her around. I was reveling in the fact that she was even here when she leaned in. I don't know what I was expecting but what I got was something completely different.

She laid her hand on my arm as she kissed me softly on the lips. I froze.

At my reaction, she pulled away slightly looking into my eyes. I don't know what she saw there. Confusion? Uncertainty? Want? Desire? Need? I'm sure any if not all of those emotions were present right now.

Whatever she found lead her to move in once again. This time when our lips met I kissed back. I didn't know why Cadee decided to kiss me now, but I wasn't going to let the moment pass.

I was hovering over her body, my hands tangled in the hair at the base of her neck, when I felt her hands move to the bottom of my shirt, where she began to play with the hem. My mind was racing. I had known Cadee for more than half of my life, and I had never thought she would get this caught up in just a kiss.

As much as I didn't want to I pulled back. It was my turn to look in her eyes. I needed to see what was going on in her head. She smiled sweetly, still playing with the hem of my shirt. Her eyes were boring into mine and what I saw there caused me to catch my breath. I didn't see the half lidded eyes, heavy from the alcohol that I had expected. Instead, I saw her own want, desire, and something else, hurt?

I couldn't understand the emotions playing across her beautiful features. I was the one who wanted this to happen, wanted us to happen. She had done everything possible to create distance between us, in order to keep our friendship the same as it had always been. She was the one who ran from my advances. Now she was turning the tables, who was I to say no?

I leaned back in, capturing her lips in another captivating kiss. Except it was more than a kiss. My mind was spinning and I didn't quiet care.

In the middle of our little make-out session we had reversed positions. She now lay atop me, her legs straddling my hips. I moved my hands down her back, loving the feeling of her in my arms. When my hands reached her hips she slowly sat up, momentarily ending our kiss. She had a small smile on her face as her hands moved from their previous spot at my neck down my chest. When her hands reached the hem of my shirt she toyed with the fabric before her hands landed on my belt. Again, I froze.

That's when my brain kicked in. She didn't really want this. She couldn't. She was drunk. She had to be. She didn't know what she was doing. I couldn't let her do something that I knew she would regret. As much as I didn't want to I had to stop this, before it went to far.

I grabbed her wrists gently as I tried to sit up.

"Whoa, easy there," I breathed.

"You don't want to?" she asked, looking down at her hands. I could tell she was upset.

I let go of her wrists as I lifted her chin to look in her eyes. "Oh, I want to—" I began. "Why are you crying? What's wrong?" I asked when I noticed a tear escape her brown eyes, which now wouldn't meet mine.

She was silent. I gently rolled us over so that she was lying on the bed as I grabbed her face in my hands, trying to get her attention.

"I'm s-sorry," she whispered, almost inaudibly.

"Sorry? Sorry for what? You didn't do anything wrong," I answered.

"I shouldn't have— I knew it was too late," she said as she pushed me away and scrambled off the bed. She had made it to the bathroom and was about to shut the door when I turned her around to face me.

"What do you mean you knew it was too late? Too late for what?" I know she's drunk, but she is always the rational one, and right now she isn't making any sense at all.

She was silent again, a sign that she was either embarrassed, anxious, or both. I pulled her into my arms. I couldn't stand to see her this upset.

She immediately wrapped her arms around my waist and buried her face in my chest. I kissed the top of her head.

"Cadee?" I asked hesitantly after a moment. She didn't answer, instead she pulled back whipping the tears from her eyes as she turned away from me. "Cadee? What's wrong? Tell me."

She took a deep breath before turning back to face me. Looking into my eyes she whispered, "I love you."

I had heard those words before, but this time they sounded completely different.

"Cadee, I love you too, you know that." She nodded slightly before pushing past me into the other room. "Cadee? Come on tell me what's wrong. What happened back there?"

She was sitting on the bed staring at the opposite wall. I came around the bed, kneeling in front of her; I took her hand in mine.

"Please, talk to me," I begged.

"I. Uh, Alex, can I ask you a question?" she asked.

"Yeah, of course."

"Do you- I mean. Are you-"

"Am I what?" I couldn't tell what she was getting at.

"Do you still like…like me as more than friends?" she looked down at her hands.

I raised my hand to touch her cheek before forcing her gaze up to me. "Yes. I love you, Cadee. I can't get you out of my head," I admitted.

I expected her expression to change. I didn't know if she would run, like before, but she stayed exactly the same. Her expression didn't falter but she took her hand from mine.

"Then why did you stop me?" she asked as she locked her gray eyes with mine.

"W-What?"

"Why did stop us from… I thought you wanted to—" she said as another tear escaped her eye.

I whipped it away as I took her face in my hands. I rose up on my knees to kiss her softly. Pulling away, I answered her most recent question, "I didn't want you to regret it. I know you don't like me that way. I figured you drank too much and you didn't know what you were doing. I'm sorry."

"I'm not drunk," she whispered and I nodded. "And I do like you. Wait, no I don't." I nodded again. I already knew this. "No. I didn't mean it like that. I don't just like you, Alex. I don't know when I figured it out, but… Alex, I love you. Not as my best friend, but as… I don't know, I just know that I love you, and I want to be with you."

Cadee:

I cannot believe I just said all of that. I mean. I'm glad I did. I needed to tell him, he needed to know how I really felt. Everything was finally out in the open. We both knew how the other felt about the other. We wanted the same thing.

"A-Are you s-sure?" Alex stammered.

I smiled slightly before pulling him to his feet. I wrapped my arms around his neck, drawing him to me. I kissed him with everything I had. I needed to convey just how much I loved him.

He pulled away slightly as he laughed, "I love you, too!"

I smiled as he leaned back into our kiss. This was one of the happiest times of my life. I had my best friend back; we no longer had any secrets to hide. Everything was out in the open.

"Holy Shit!"

"Well, Fuck me!"

Alex and I pulled away from each other to turn towards the voiced that had interrupted us. Jack and Zack were standing in the doorway connecting the two rooms with wide eyes. I could tell they were shocked.

"What? What's going on?" Rian asked as he ran up behind the other two.

"We just found Alex and Cadee making out," Jack stated with a smirk.

I blushed as I glanced at Alex. He was rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. When he saw my face he wrapped his other arm around my waist, pulling me close.

"Why are you two so surprised?" Rian was asking the boys. "We all knew it was bound to happen."

* * *

**A/N: This is the end, for now.**

**I am working on the sequel, so look out for that.**

**I hope you enjoyed the story. Please review, I would appreciate it. Also, let me know if there is anything you would like to see happen in the sequel, I could use some ideas. Thank you!**


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